Last year, a friend gave me a riding crop as a gift. We were at a horse tack store in Muddy Pond, TN that was run by Mennonites and she bought it for me, well us.
We got home and put it in the bedside table drawer for JUST the right time. (winks and bobs head)
The time comes. We're in the We're So Wild and Lesbian mood. Let's get the crop out and hava little fun.
She thwaps it in her hands a couple of times. Oh yeah, Baby! This is so hot! You are making me so...
Tears well up in my eyes. I cannot speak. I can barely breathe as I'm trying to assimilate the pain and the fact that this was sexy just seconds ago.
Me with tears in my eyes: You hit too HARD! That HURT!
Her...rolling her eyes: It's supposed to hurt...that's the whole point.
Me still trying to get my bearings: I quit.
Now we just hang it on the bedpost so people will THINK we're hot.