Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Candy Ass

Last year, a friend gave me a riding crop as a gift. We were at a horse tack store in Muddy Pond, TN that was run by Mennonites and she bought it for me, well us.

We got home and put it in the bedside table drawer for JUST the right time. (winks and bobs head)

The time comes. We're in the We're So Wild and Lesbian mood. Let's get the crop out and hava little fun.

She thwaps it in her hands a couple of times. Oh yeah, Baby! This is so hot! You are making me so...



Tears well up in my eyes. I cannot speak. I can barely breathe as I'm trying to assimilate the pain and the fact that this was sexy just seconds ago.

Me with tears in my eyes: You hit too HARD! That HURT!
Her...rolling her eyes: It's supposed to hurt...that's the whole point.
Me still trying to get my bearings: I quit.

Now we just hang it on the bedpost so people will THINK we're hot.


RockDog said...

And then you began to spank/whip all of those other asses that you have so nicely included? That would be HOT!

I put Maxim magazine on my desk so people will think I'm cool...but it's not working. LOL

Leighann said...

The husband has gotten many a kick/knee/elbow when the sting of his smacks are a BIT too hard!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Rockdog: A friend of mine (lesbian) just interviewed with Maxim magazine a few weeks ago. She had no idea WHO they were. Please God, give her that job so I'll get free mags! Then we'll BOTH be cool!

Leighann: I just pouted and turned over. LOL

Leighann said...

OH! Forget that, you've got to fight back!! LOL

Jay said...

I was going to complain about your moving, but then I saw that picture and got all happy again.

If anyone wants to smack me with a riding crop they just have to remember that if I take that thing from them I will beat them into the ground with it. ;-)

Dana said...

Ummm ... do you rent out that riding crop? Just asking ...

Hot Lemon said...

Hell, I thought U were hott back when you were lookin' for your hipbones.

R.E.H. said...

I'm not even sure I read the words you put on this post... I can't seem to take my eyes off that picture!

I so want to be there!

*drops water onto eyeballs to rehydrate... sure as heck ain't gonna blink*

Spiky Zora Jones said...

like yeah it hurts. It hurts so good. I love it.

babes...maybe something that doesn't make up want to pass out from the pain would be better for you, Like a good spanking.

I hate healing's tender for a days and when she accidently forgets and swats my ass...momma.

I laughed reading your post...I quit...ha. I would so think you two kinky if I say it in your bed room. hehehe.

later babes.

Deb said...

Sorry, what a bad top move she made. Don't give up though, the right girl could get you back in the saddle, so to speak.

I'm sure all of that is what the Mennonites had in mind while crafting the tool!

Raven said...

:::sigh::: No riding crops...and I read Reader's Digest...I'm such a nerd.

Biscuit said... naughty. I have no experience with that whatsoever.


Real Live Lesbian said...

Leighann: She had one in the bank for that one. I got her back, I'm sure.

Jay: Note to self: Never spank Jay. And I'm not stupid. I knew that I could ply you with sexy pics!

Dana: Nah, but you can come over... ;)

Hot Lemon: You are a suck up! LOL

REH: Well, I had to get you boys over here somehow!

Spiky: Spanking, I like...easy does it tho!

Deb: Dirty Mennonites!

Raven: Damn girl, put down that RD and borrow Rockdog's Maxim!

Biscuit: Rolls eyes. WhatEVER.

Southern Sage said...

Its hot as fire in my mind!
nice visual!

Christie said...

Yeah, same with handcuffs. They look intriguing until someone loses the keys. And the kids walk in. And then tell their friends at school.

Kids ruin everything.


Kind of.

Jeff B said...

Holy Mackarolly Batgirl!

I'll be sure to update my blogroll.

TheBirdman33 said...

There is always such great eye candy on your posts, it's fantastic!

One girl made me spank her, like put her over my knee and spank her...and I got nothing out of it.

I will do an ass slap here or there, but she was a little extreme. If I bump into/uglies with....her again, I am going to need to borrow that riding crop.


SCANjolina said...

Oh.My.God. I'm a new reader. My husband was reading your old blog heading with me, and we clicked your new link. I can't get his eyes off of the asses.

We are laughing hysterically about the spanking. I feel the same way about biting my nipples. It's like..OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Dang! A little pain is nice, but don't chew the things off! SHEESH!

Love your humor. I blogrolled you!

mackeydoodle said...

I think the trick is to be as incredibly horny as you can be then that lessens the pain.
I'll stick to the hairpulling, thanx;)

Blissfully Wed said...

I've seen it done quite expertly. It was anything but hard. Just soft, quick, repetitious...and perfect.

Your story is hilarious. Now go back to bed and try it again. ;)

Palm Springs Savant said...

you naughty girl you! but I like it!!!!

so I made it to the new blog...enjoy the new digs~

buffalodickdy said...

I don't like pain- it hurts!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I can think of at least one person I'd like to take a riding crop to.

Matt-Man said...

I used to use a ruler on my gf's ass. She would always use it aginst me by measuring me and laughing. Cheers!!

Diva said...

If you want to play naughty, getcha a cat o' nine tails. It's soft and doesn't hurt really. Just enough to make ya say..

"ooooh, that stung a little... ahhhh, do it again!!"

That and the furry handcuffs...

BarnGoddess said...

lol....I wont say anything else might I incriminate myself.

g-man said...

Most excellent photo. Make me wish I had a riding crop and about 4 hours ;) I do believe that there is nothing that will whip (pun intended) her into a frenzy like a well placed slap on the ass (I read that somewhere and it is true). I also believe that the line between pleasurable pain and annoyance is very thin and easily crossed. I'd hope that you'd give it another go with the caveat that she not hit so hard.

Tink said...

LMAO!! We did the same thing with nipple clamps!

Caro said...

Mwahahahahaha. I'll think of this story as "Don't try this at home."

dawn said...

i thrift and bought a bullwhip for a dollah.
my daughter whips her friends when they come over. she needs her own blog.

rock on, sistah, with the smackage.

Aunt Jackie said...

Wow those are some pretty asses... hey, I'm comfortable in my sexuality. I know what's hot lol!

And just fyi, if I whip Jay with the riding crops and he gets hold of it, he'll have to catch me first!! :D

Marilyn said...

I felt just that way... but then we decided the wrong one was holding the riding crop.