Go Ahead, Hate Me

This morning, my Love says, "Hey, let's go to the condo for the weekend."

I feel like a cad complaining, but I'm a control freak. I like to plan. I only like to be spontaneous if *I* am the one doing the spontaneous stuff because I've planned like hell in my head!

I have so much to do. I'm not a "throw a few things" in a bag and take off kind of girl. I *think* I am, but today I'm realizing that I'm not.

I'm a control freak and a planner.

But I'm a control freak and a planner that's spending a three day weekend on the Redneck Riviera.

Define Frump

Because, frankly, I feel like my picture should be there. Right there in the dictionary under frump.

I need new clothes. I would love some new jewelry. A trip to Sephora? Yes, please. Wants and needs.

And then I end up being defined by what I own, instead of who you are. How well I can entertain someone. If I can make them laugh. Feel good about themselves. If I'm loving and willing to spend time bringing someone else up that might be down.

I Have A New....

Neighbor.

He moved in a few days ago. I assume he's a boy because he drives a truck. Quite sterotypically minded of me, isn't it?

Anyway, I'd like to go over. Say hi. Take him a little something to welcome him to our new neighborhood.

But what?

I've struggled with it. Homemade brownies? Cookies? What if he's diabetic? Doesn't like chocolate? What if he's got high blood pressure? No pretzels.

I have a few things put together for him.

Here's hoping he's always wanted a lesbian neighbor.

Happy Hollow Weenie!

Our friends had their huge Halloween bash last Saturday night. Can you guess what I was? Huh? Can ya? Meo-rawr!

It was a blast!

Hugh Hefner with the "Girls Next Door" showed up, three girls in tiny Pirate outfits, a stripper, a schoolgirl, Clark Kent and Superman, The Devil (mine), the entire cast of Batman, and Fay Wray along with King Kong.

This weekend is reserved for kickin' back with some chili and handing out candy to the little ones. I want to do as little as possible.

What are you going to be for Halloween? Have any big plans?

Our Company Doesn't Have A Volley Ball Team

Aqua Net Solutions

While I was looking for a picture of Aqua Net....the pic above caught my attention. Apparently, there's also an Aqua Net Solutions in Belgium.

And they have a Women's Beach Volleyball team.

I wonder if they're taking applications?

Filed In My Brain Under, "I Shit You Not"

Last week, my work phone rang and a girl proceeded to ask to speak to the manager, owner, or someone that could give her their money. Since I'm the gatekeeper around here, I finally got her to the point where I ask if she'd like to leave her name and number.

She said...

Wait. I really should point out that I am not a fun maker of. I was made fun of a blue-billion times growing up. Nothing about it was my fault. I was chubby (genetically) and red-headed. With dimples in all of the wrong places. And some in the right places. So, I'm really not one to laugh at someone else's misfortune or whatever. I'm not. I don't do it. Well, I didn't...until now.

And so, she said, "This is Aquanet Jones (not her real last name) and...."

Right there is where I lost my shit. I know they are used to people hanging up on them. And I did. Right there, I hung up on her.

So, I could laugh my stinkin' ass off.

What's the best name you've ever heard?

P.S. It could have been Aqua Net....because I did not have the wherewithall to ask her how to spell it. I lost it way before then.