Friday, July 10, 2009

Who is this guy and what is he doing here?

Hi everyone, Skylers Dad here from "Some Days It's Not Worth Chewing Through The leather Straps". I am one of the "caretakers" of this wonderful little electronic diary known as Real Live Lesbian, while our girl is off doing who knows what in Las Vegas.

Oh wait, the hidden webcam I stashed in her bag is reporting in on one of the activities she is doing...



Oh my.

Lets let her have her privacy while we do what anyone else does while they look after somebody else's place - snoop around! Let's see, gotta find the key, she said it was in the hide-a-key rock in the yard.

Note to RLL: If it's the only rock in the yard, it's fooling nobody. Doesn't matter anyway since it looks like Jay left the door wide open on his way out. Better be a little more careful there buddy, and don't leave your empties laying around. That's my job.

(switches on the old blog-o-matic computer) Ahhh, Windows 95, very nice RLL. Gives me some more time to drink your booze while this dinosaur boots up...

Wow! You have a serious amount of porn on here girl! I didn't know about some of these sites, let me just jot a few down...

Ok we are up and running and ready for bloggy fun.

You are probably wondering why another guy is guest blogging anyway. I mean what can SkyDad possibly know? That is why RLL left me some study material right here next to this big box labeled DO NOT OPEN.

Really? You would think she knew me better by now, hmm? While I was rifling through our girls DO NOT OPEN files, er, I mean doing research for this posting, I stumbled across some very interesting stuff. For instance, did you know one of her earliest books was going to be a big influence on her life? Sure enough, check it out:



An older school friend tried to tell her that she might be a lesbian, but she was doubtful as a young girl:



Intrigued, RLL immediately went to the library for some more material:




Eventually, our girl discovered that she had some musical talent. I never knew she played violin!



Wait a minute! Here is an old picture of me along with RLL and some other friends. It's labeled "One of these does not belong". Hmmm, yeah, I agree. The girl on the left was always a bit bitchy if you ask me.



Moving on deeper into the pile I found an envelope marked "For SkyDad's tat collection". How thoughtful of her! She remembered I do a bad tat Tuesday series whenever I get enough pictures my way (end of shameless blog plug). Except there is a sticky note on here that says "These are what good tats can look like".




Oh well, you be the judge, I actually didn't even notice the tats at first...

Oh now this looks like an interesting item. Written in her day-timer is an appointment for "2 hour smurf trim", what could that be? Oh wait there is another photo.



Holy tap-dancin jesus!

Later that same week there is another entry for ballet lessons. Well look at our girl getting all cultured and ..................Whoa!!!



(heads to bathroom for cold shower)

Okies, I am back now.

Last thing in here is some sort of instructional video on mouse hand exercises. Lets pop that into the old VCR...


(OK, this is an animated gif file that blogger doesn't like for some reason. Save it and open it in a browser, you won't be disappointed!)

Well, I think I have worn out my welcome here (the booze is all gone) so I will close up shop now with a story I want to share that is from the bottom of my heart. No really, I CAN be serious on occasion...

When Skyler entered grade school, we really fought hard for him to be included into the regular classroom. The school system didn't like that, and wanted him down the hall in the special class with all the other kids with disabilities. A lot of other parents didn't like the idea that our son was going to be in the classroom with their kids. They thought that even though he had an aide, he would be taking valuble time away from their precious little darlings. At back to school night, one girl, Jillian, came over with her mom and introduced Skyler to her. She said this is the boy I was telling you about, he talks with a computer! Jillians mom introduced herself to us and then introduced her partner to us.

We thanked them both for Jillian being so nice to Skyler and then we all moved around getting to know other parents.

More than a couple of people remarked about "the young girl with the lesbian parents" and it kind of got too me. Then madam PTA president (who I knew had led the battle against Skyler being included) came up with her phony smile and asked if I wanted Skyler to be around "those types" of people. I was pissed as hell, and told her "You mean the parents of the only kid in this class that took the time to see past Skyler's disability and try and be his friend? Yes, I really do want him around more people like them!"

My wife kind of drug me away before I made a bigger scene. God bless Jillian and her parents. They moved away in 5th grade, and I still think about them to this day.

Thanks for listening to me ramble here, and take care everyone,
Skydad (Chris)

36 comments:

Rebecca said...

Oh my! let a hetero man loose on the blog and all hell breaks loose!
LMAO. So, does RLL know you brought all these pics over?
I guess she does now!
Loved it, Glad the RLL has friend like you and I am glad Skyler has a friend like Jillian too.

Jeanne said...

SkyDad, you are a hoot.

My grandson has two moms -- I hope when he gets to school he meets a boy with parents like Skyler's!

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

!!!!!!

CheekyMonkey said...

What? No panty drawer? Pfft, sup with those snoopin ..er.. research skills man!

SkylersDad said...

Rebecca: The place will never be the same, will it?

Jeanne: Thank you so much!

Gary: Whaaa? Not what you were expecting?

Cheeky: The drawers required a lot of "research", I am still going through them!

phd in yogurtry said...

So we hop over to your blog for a link to the sex tape, RLL Does Vegas, is that it?

Very entertaining,funny, and moving post, SD.

tommy said...

Good stuff Skydad. My girlfriend's son starts kindergarten this fall and she's freaking out and worried that the other kids are going to harass him for having a "two mom" type scenario in his life. It's a bridge we'll cross when we get there...

The smurf trim is hilarious. Great blog.

SkylersDad said...

phd: If she shares when she gets back, it's mine! All mine!

tommy: I hope that he is treated well, as well as your girlfriend. People need to wake up and figure out it's not the gender that makes a good couple, it's the love.

Whiskeymarie said...

I love how your mind works...

Nothing like a little nekkidness to start the weekend off right.
;)

Jay said...

Dude! This post is so full of win! I can't believe RLL played violin and never told us. She's going to have to vlog her playing that thing for us. LOL

Great guest post. Well done!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

You done our friend RLL proud.

My fave? A toss up between the pic with the pussy instructions, the smurfs and the story about Skyler's friend.

Well done.

BeckEye said...

So, according to that map...you can take the F train right into the vagina?

SkylersDad said...

Whiskey:Nekkid is always a good idea, and many would argue with you on whether or not my mind works at all.

Jay: Thanks a lot! And I say she gives us a private concert when she gets back.

Candy: Thank you so much, I found that Smurf photo months ago and stored it away for a special Hallmark moment...

BeckEye: Only with the express pass.

nitebyrd said...

Excellent rambling and pictures!

Good parents are good parents. Period.

Akelamalu said...

That was an absolute scream! LOL

Jillian's parents seem like really nice people and they definitely brought Jillian up right! Gender doesn't matter but good manners and compassion and caring do. :)

SkylersDad said...

nitebyrd: I agree with you, not my rambling being good, but the parent thing.

Akelamalu: Jillian and her moms all rocked! Thanks, glad you liked it.

Cormac Brown said...

Hilarious stuff and I'm glad I didn't wake The Teen up yet.

Cora said...

Sky Dad, that Smurf pic slays me!!!! Hee hee hee. :-)

SkylersDad said...

Cormac: I guess I should come with some sort of NC-17 warning.

Cora: It was my favorite!

J.J. in L.A. said...

You, my dear, are a wonderful honorary RLL!!! LOVED the blog! I also loved that you spoke up for Jillian and her family.

Hopefully she is still making friends with people like Skyler
(who appreciate real friends).

Some Guy said...

Awesome stuff, S.D.!

Gina said...

I was going to tell you that the Basic Pussy Eating Techniques photo was the funniest thing I've seen in a while until I saw the great shot of you and the lesbians. LOVE it.

I am a speech therapist and your story touched me. I enrolled my typically developing son at an integrated preschool...there is nowhere else I'd even consider. When I found out there were kids with Down Syndrome, Autism, and other disabilities in his class, I was so excited. And he loves the little girl with D.S. in his room, which makes me even happier. I wish you the best of luck.

SkylersDad said...

J.J.: I wish we had stayed in touch with her family, I would love to see how they are. And thanks for compliment on my RLL post!

Some Guy: Thanks for following me over dude, but you just knew there would be girls, didn't you?

Gina: Good on you for being a speech therapist! Skyler uses a Dynavox, and we work with a technology/speech guy once a week.

rage said...

Well done...my favorite picture was "one of these doesn't belong."

Pop and Ice said...

Fab post on so MANY levels. Love the smurf thing. Gotta show that and all the other pics to hubby in the morning; it inspires him to do better in.....everything. Damn that man for going to bed so early!

And I'm glad that, for a short time, your son had a friend and parents who understood what it meant to be inclusive.

diane said...

Chris, one of your best posts ever. The story at the end was the cherry on top. xo

SkylersDad said...

Rage: Loverly, wasn't it?

Pop Ice: Thanks so much, and I am very happy that they were in Skyler's life.

Diane: Cherry on top, hmmm... I may have to go search for a nasty photo with a cherry!

LegalMist said...

Wow, SkyDad - awesome job you've done here! Entertaining, sexy, hilarious, and a moving story at the end.

Quite the complete package, I must say.

SkylersDad said...

LegalMist: You are too kind, thanks for following me over here.

Bond said...

That was great and you deserved to make a bigger scene IMHO...

SkylersDad said...

Thank you much Bond, I have seen your comments around and will have to go visit your place.

Lynette said...

now this was funny
i was laughing so hard that i started coughing and then peed a lil oh my what a mess you made of me

love the pics, smurfs need to do the job for me, going to pass the insturctions over to my rll daughter too!

you out did youself man

and told a touching story too

you sure your not a girl????

Lu' said...

SkylersDad, I truely enjoyed your post :) Thanks.

SkylersDad said...

Hi Lynette, hang on a sec (looks down pants) nope, external plumbing still intact. I guess I am a guy!

Lu: Thanks very much, you are so kind.

Scarlet said...

And to think I almost missed this post. OMG! This blog has never seen so much action!!

Mik said...

The animated gif had me chuckling like an adolescent schoolboy, I sent it to the wife to look at on her computer.