Thursday, January 8, 2009

Sleep Tight


On our way back from a white Christmas in Michigan, we stop in Lansing to have lunch with my girlfriend's ex who works for a Orkin. She asks if we were driving all the way back or stopping somewhere to spend the night.

Me: We're going to drive all the way.
Her: Good! Because there's been an outbreak of bed bugs all over the U.S.
Me: Bed bugs?
Her: They're infesting even 5 star hotels. It doesn't matter where you stay, you might be exposed to them. They're very hard to get rid of and you could take them home with you and infest your own home.

That's when i started itching. Immediately. Just speaking of these things is enough to make me feel like I already have them.

I thought they were just a bedtime rhyme.

They hide in the mattress until it's dark and you're asleep. Then they creep onto your body and inject you with a numbing solution, so you don't feel them drinking your blood.

All was well until about 7pm that very same day, when it suddenly got sleepy in the car during my driving stint. I knew I couldn't make it. We had another 4 hours to go. We had to find a room. BUT THEY'RE ALL INFESTED! And we have two 60 pound rotties with us that seriously limit our options.

I begged a 300 pound MMA promoting, Red Roof Inn manager into LETTING us stay despite their strict, one dog per room policy. I promptly checked the mattress edging for any flat, round browns. The place was clean, but I'm still itching.

I bet you're itching now, too! You're welcome.

41 comments:

SkylersDad said...

Here is a little fact to make you itch a bit more. In a pillow that is 5 years old or more, approximately 1/2 of the weight of the pillow is in dust mites.

You are welcome back!

Knight said...

What SkylersDad said goes for the mattress as well. Sweet dreams!

kimber p said...

freakin out..right now. my partner is staying at a red roof inn in Columbus for the week working for her company. I just called her and demanded she check her mattress ALL the way around top and bottom..omg. seriously geeking out at this second!!!

~Deb said...

Skyler's right. In fact, Oprah had a show about how you should change your pillow every THREE months because of these little mites. They feed off your skin cells that we naturally shed off. 5 star hotels are known for bedbugs. Also, you can be the cleanest person on earth and STILL be infested of them. My partner and I got a bed that ensured that you can't get them. I have to get the name of it---it's like a $3,000 mattress, but WELL worth it. Believe me. It's also hypoallergenic. And whatever you do, never sleep with the bed comforter they provide you with.
EVER!!!!

(Glad I have OCD!)

vixen kitten said...

*sigh* That is just disgusting.

Welcome back!

~vk~

Tina-cious.com said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Scarlet said...

So much for my plans to go to Disney World next weekend. Ew.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

what was the subject? I got lost in the dozens of comments down there...

Akelamalu said...

Yep I'm itching! It's like when someone mentions nits at school! :(

Jormengrund said...

Critters, critters, and more critters..

Now, if you were just infested with the spiders you had been talking about a couple of posts ago, they could have hid aboard your luggage, and taken care of the nasty buggers!

You know, you REALLY need to start taking some of my advice!

Jen said...

Um. . . Cockroach story has been beat.

Nolens Volens said...

Sitting comfortably in my chair. No itching sensations anywhere. Your Jedi mind trick works only on the weak-minded fools. ;)

random moments said...

Thanks a bunch! But, outbreak of bed bugs in the U.S.? I haven't heard anything about it! Wonder if they hang in my bed...

captain corky said...

I've heard that shrimp are considered to be even dirtier than maggots

Grant said...

Bedbugs are not scary when compared to Giant Atomic Chickens™.

g-man said...

My colleague brought them back from a Girl Scout overnight, it cost her $1000 and a lot of time to get rid of them in her house (and hers was not a serious infestation).

The camp burned the infested cabin to the ground.

g-man said...

Oh, and yes I am itching now, thanks!

Laura said...

yeah, thanks for that

we're doomed said...

Can we say "Urban Legend". Yes we can. There are bed bugs and yes you can get them from motels/hotels, camps and friends beds. However, the only pest I am worried about tonight when I go bed is the pest that sleeps with me. And most of the time she is a good girl. A very good girl.

Bond said...

As I work for Terminix, I can tell you there is not a nation-wide outbreak...They happen...5 star, 0 star...does not matter..

but a nation-wide outbreak..not likely

Jay said...

I refuse to stay in motels that allow pets. I've found ticks and gnats in far too many of them. Never any bed bugs though.

nitebyrd said...

Nasty! Jeez, that sure puts a damper on "hotel sex!"

Glad you're home safe and bug free. :)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

oh dear. I vacuum my mattress all the time, but who knows.

Turnbaby said...

YUCK EWW EWW EWW EWW

Thanks--now I am all creepy crawly!

My numbed brain did not get it together to remember you were in/near Nashville.

We are planning a trip down sometime soon--we'd love to meet you.

And we'll be sure to leave our bedbugs at the hotel;-)

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

ACK! i am itching LOL

happy new year hun :)

fiwa said...

Dangit! I have been obsessed with damn bed bugs ever since reading about them on someone's blog who has them! I was just about over it - and I'm getting ready to go out of town next week! I'll get you for this, my pretty.

Diva said...

Crap! I'll be paranoid now in every room I check into.

Mik said...

Thanks I just had a bath, now I feel like showering.

Let's not mention the pubic hair in the hotel room sheets.

Zed said...

You guys crack me up. I have slept on way too many hostel bunks to start worrying about bed bugs now, lol.
Don't worry, my bed/body/lounge chair/etc. is clean! But we do have camel crickets in here. *sigh*

Fortune Cookies said...

Did I ever tell you I used to work at Red Roof Inn? At the front desk.
Lets just say I like to carry my own sheets and pillows now no matter where I stay.

Brad said...

Great. Now I can't fly on airplanes OR stay in hotels. Yuk.

Ashleigh said...

Thanks for itches!

NOT!

Biscuit said...

I swear I thought that was a penis in that picture at first. Surfing my bloggy friends is so much more interesting without my glasses!

Monogram Queen said...

Oh I can't read stuff like this! I'm way to susceptible to the power of suggestion...... thanks SkylersDad too! ACK!!!!!!!!

phd in yogurtry said...

Thanks for making me feel better about my holiday stay-cation! Yikes. Outbreaks everywhere?

I read about bedbugs last winter while on the treadmill. I read with considerable interest because I had been noticing bug bites of unknown origin on my torso, looked like mosquito bites but they felt and itched in a different way. I ended up searching frantically for tell-tale signs of bedbugs in my house. Didn't find any but shit, I could have done without that head trip.

Craze said...

I started itching the moment I read the word infested.

Live.Love.Eat said...

What we can't see can't hurt, right? As I like to keep telling myself.

Vodka Mom said...

I'm immune. When you've taught school for 20 years and have been to the nurse everytime someone yells HEAD LICE, you pretty much toughen up.

*scratch, scratch**

rage said...

I get freaked out about staying in hotels/motels because of bed bugs and have watched all of these investigative specials about them...

((shudders))

Tiggerlane said...

I'm more concerned about what those investigative shows uncover in hotel rooms when they use the black light. Just sayin'.

Melissa said...

Dammit, woman - you were in Lansing and we didn't meet? I am going to assume you were in an awful hurry and just stopped for lunch and bedbug warnings. But the next time you're in Lansing, give me a heads-up if you have a few hours to kill!