Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Life of Luxury

My mother thinks that I don't *do* anything around the house. Despite the fact that every time she comes over, my hair's held back with a bandana and I'm sweating with either a vacuum or a mop in my hand. I think it stems from My Love always telling her what SHE'S doing....replacing the faucets in the bathroom, installing a new digital thermometer, repairing the pool pump, etc. I can't do those things, so I do the things that I'm good at. I clean. Bordering on Neat Freak. At any time, you can drop in and the house is in order.

Lately, this has been bothering me. And so, I've turned into a smart ass about it. Typical of me.

~~~~~~~

The Scene: My Love joins me and my mother for lunch at work. My Love is talking about her current project and...

I interject: Luckily, I have My Love to do everything around the house for me. I just sit around eating bon-bons all day.

My mother: What kind do you buy?

She was probably wanting to serve them at her next party.

50 comments:

Akelamalu said...

LOL you've convinced her you don't do anything now!

doggybloggy said...

that is a priceless response...I once showed my dad a stack of poetry and short stories I had written and he said "I didnt know you could type"

Mind of MadMan said...

I used the Bon Bon comment until my Mother said, "yep it LOOKS like it."
Never used that since then

Grant said...

As always, you leave out the important issues. What kind of bon-bons?

vixen kitten said...

What a great response...both yours and moms!

Ummmm....is there any chance I could borrow Your Love for just a day or two? I have a new faucet I need installed in the bathroom, and would LOVE a digital programable timer installed for my furnace. Please. Pretty please?

How about if I send her back with trays and trays of bon bons?

xoxo
~vk~

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Mothers you gotta love them , they don't give you any other choice. We always do what we are good at it's natural.

kimber p said...

my mom is pretty much the opposite, my house can be one full trash bag short of being declared a disaster area, and my mom will walk in and say, "my goodness honey! You always have such a clean house!"
or maybe I'm just not getting her brand of sarcasm...

SkylersDad said...

Just goes to show that if it's not one thing it's a mother...

Dana said...

ROTFLMAO @ SkylersDad!

I hope you ate LOTS of bon-bons during the holidays!

coffeypot said...

Funny! Sometimes moms don't have a clue.

Nolens Volens said...

Nothing like walking right into that with a clueless person. :)

Scarlet said...

I just love being a smart ass and getting the last laugh, so I appreciate this kind of dialogue.

Southern Sage said...

hehe
I never knew you were a smart ass!!!
lol
great answer.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

hoot!

AirmanMom said...

Happy New Year!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Lu' said...

Ha ha ha. Sarcasm is hard to pull off if the other person believes it to be true.

Recovering Grady Addict said...

I gave up on attmepts for perfect tidy house keeping. My honey messes up quicker than I can clean. (sigh) I already have to do the "handy woman" stuff... so my usual domestic chores are cut back to basic necessity... everything else is all frill these days.

Bizarro Aunt Jackie said...

LOL!!! This is hilarious. I mean, I understand how you feel, but you put it in such a funny way... You almost made it sound like the "lesbian" equivalent of "Married With Children" wherein the "Peg Bundy" Character always sits around doing nothing but eating bon bons. lol

Well hope your Christmas was lovely, and had to stop by to say hello.

I find it very hard not to be a smart ass myself a great deal of the time. :)

Too lazy to switch accounts, Aunt Jackie

~Deb said...

Oh muyyy GAWD how did you keep your composure? Or should I ask: what was your response? LOL!

I'm like you though---neat freak borderline/ OCD mania. :) I'm happy that way! ...

I bet you have "house shoes". If you have OCD, you know what I mean. lol...

Shonda Little said...

This is absolutely what my dad does with me and my dad. Absolutely!

Palm Springs Savant said...

I tried that with someone at work once and said "All I do is sit at my desk and eat strawberries and sip champagne all day". So for my birthday, they gave me exactly that!

Vixen said...

But um...so what kind were they? So I can tell the next person who asks what I do all day in my 'free time' (who the hell asks a mom of two children and runs a household, what they 'do' in their 'free' time!?)

Humpf!

Loved your response!

ciara said...

omgosh lmao i make no bones about the fact that i'm straight up lazy n hate housework. it's my MIL that tries to find ways to see if it's clean. doesn't she know just to give up already? not all june cleavers ya know lol

Claire said...

Haha. Don'tcha just love mums and their funny little ways?

Cxx

Tookie Tail said...

I find Mom's work so hard at pissing us off! I sure hope I don't do that with my daughters. :sigh: Your response was great! I'm always one of those who would later say...i should have said this or that! LOL

RiverPoet said...

Hilarious!!!!!

thanks for the laugh - D

Monogram Queen said...

Okay, I admit it! I laughed!!!

Bond said...

bwahahahahahaahahah

"what kind did you buy'

mom cracks me up!

Craze said...

Haha! Good one!

Knight said...

Ha! Thanks mom. You should give it up and just go buy the Bon Bons. That is what I have learned from this story.

Farmer*swife said...

HaHaHaH!!!

DH used to get like that sometimes. Come in complaining and wondering what I did all day. So one day, I called him and reported after each event.

"Okay, I've been to the post office which includes loading and unloading a toddler and an infant..."

Ring: "We just hit the potty twice while trying to grocery shop, the children are loaded and I now have a flat which I am tending to."

Ring: "I picked up the dry cleaning, made it to the kids MD appt, the flat is a slow leak that needs YOU to tend to, and the laundry won't be folded when you get home because I'll be cooking dinner and making lunches."

Well, that day I had a super full day with a toddler and infant in tow. Which makes getting in and out of the vehicle take 20 mins each time.

But, I'd say the same thing to him. "Oh, I've been eating bon-bons and soaping out on the couch all day."

Sabrae Carter said...

LOL! My MIL knows that I don't let the wife do anything that isn't repairable. I clean, cook, dust you name it! lol if it needs fixed...she does it.. but we live in an apartment... so anything that REALLY needs fixed... well the landlord gets called! I went thru tennessee this weekend to and from Georgia! :)

Jormengrund said...

Sounds to me like you inherited your smart-assedness from your mom's side of the family!

Either that, or she really does believe that you do squat around the house..

I like to think it's the former, rather than the latter..

Oh, and tell her it's the squishy gooey kind with the nougat centers..

Those always tend to get requests!

Happy New Year!!

phd in yogurtry said...

At least you can say you clean. Ahem. Procrastination is my middle name.

Scarlet said...

Tag!

Brad said...

Yet again, PROOF we're related. Or at least are mothers are...

Jeff B said...

Insert the vaudeville drum sound here. . . "Ba dump bump bump . Crash!"

She's quick

nitebyrd said...

Mother's are like that. Just when you think you've got 'em, they shoot you down. LOL

Fu Manchu Dad said...

At the very least you know your mom is always impressed with your girl and you won't have to worry that she'll think she's good enough. Unfortunately, if you're not careful, she may decide your girl is too good for you. Could be worse.
FMD

Fu Manchu Dad said...

At the very least you know your mom is always impressed with your girl and you won't have to worry that she'll think she's good enough. Unfortunately, if you're not careful, she may decide your girl is too good for you. Could be worse.
FMD

Ann said...

LOL! You sassafras. What a perfect answer!

Jessica said...

LOL! Happy New Year to you! :)

Vodka Mom said...

OMg I just LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!


I know she's your mom and all, but did you KICK HER ASS?????


jesus.

paulwchambers said...

really wish i wasn't allergic to all this stuff - looks amazing

happy new year to you

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Popping by to wish you a happy new year :)

Diva said...

You are adorable. You seem to have a controlled (and hilarious) idea to get through every situation :)

Happy New Year!

Akelamalu said...

PS Do drop by my place tomorrow there'll be a little something for you. :)

random moments said...

That's too funny. I bet if you told her you MADE the bons bons, she'd sure be proud. :)

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hah. That would get to me after awhile & I'd become a smart ass too!!!

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