Monday, December 22, 2008

The Plagues


Item #3,399 that realtors do not tell you when you're buying a log cabin is that the local insect population think you live inside a tree and that tree is not really yours.

When the weather started cooling off, insects started coming into our log cabin. Not a problem. I don't like a fly in the house, but hey....it happens.

Except when you live in a tree, it's not just one. It's forty-eleven (that's Southern for a damn lot.) At one point, I vacuumed up an entire Dyson full of black flies. The upstairs window sills were stacked with dead fly corpses.

Then came the red wasps. Not as many in number as the black flies, but certainly more wicked. Walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night took on an entirely new thrill level.

Now, it's ladybugs. At first, they were cute with their little, red beetle bodies. Harmless. They look for a warm place to hibernate and well, so do we. I wouldn't mind them so much if they weren't so damn vile. How can something so tiny stink so badly? After 30 seconds of Googling, I found out that they excrete stinky blood from their legs to ward off predators.

If I wake up tomorrow with a floor full of frogs...I'm moving in with YOU!

37 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

By a huge fly swatter.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

You're fun, we'd love to have you stay here. Northern NY state today is 8 degrees with winds gusting up to 35 miles per hour, making for minus something wind chill. There is 2 feet of snow out there. But the sun is out.
We'll drink bourbon half the night and play Monopoly, I can't wait!

SkylersDad said...

Get bug foggers - think Costco pallet full size!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

My sister and her girlfriend are building a log cabin in the woods next to me in the spring. Hope they are ready for the bgs.

Knight said...

You want to move in with me? I have seen cockroaches in the laundry room and the other day I heard a neighbor ask for sticky mouse traps from the super. That scared the crap out of me. Give me stinky blood legs any day.

Akelamalu said...

Yuk, you're braver than me!

Grant said...

If it gets out of control, you can always burn it down and rebuild with bricks. The plight of the three little pigs should have taught you that already. And they had wolf problems, which really puts your little insects into perspective.

Besides, you can't spell "insects" without "sex".

People in the Sun said...

I hope you've learned your lesson: When Jewish people say they want to go, you let these people go.

Scarlet said...

How about a cute, lime-green iguana on your pool deck? Or tadpoles in your laundry room? Sometimes we see alligators in the canal down the street, too. (You DON'T wanna move in with me!)

Nolens Volens said...

If you're handy with the tools and house repairs...you can live with us. ;)

Bond said...

I have room, when will you get here?

Jay said...

My aunt and uncle had a log cabin for a while. They had the same problem. But, it was still cool.

Except the red wasps. They are NOT cool.

Lu' said...

I'm sorry, I just had to laugh. So sorry to hear of your plight or is that plague. I'd be moving baby that is not for me. Nope sorry honey I don't care if we did just move in, pack it up!

Mind of MadMan said...

I hate bugs and this reminds me of my home in NH. Same issue, but include chipmuncks and bats...
Call and exterminator that will drill small holes and fill the walls so that these bugs are killed inside and then buy the fogger, a pallet, and fog twice a month for about 4 months to kill the larve. Good luck and sorry I'm gonna have to refuse your RSVP for dinner and a movie...
EW

fiwa said...

I don't do well with bugs. I always liked lady bugs - but I have to say - that would gross me out.

I like nature - I just like it on the outside, where it belongs!

Watch the toilet lid - wasps could get ugly.

love -
fiwa

KellyKline said...

We got attacked by the vile-smelling ladybug swarm, too. Even yesterday I found one traipsing around on the carpet, like a painted lady waiting to snatch her a dapper dan.

Karen said...

My parents had a log cabin in VT for many years and all remember was bats coming inside. But of course it was a Siberian climate in VT...

coffeypot said...

It's just the grasshopper. He fiddled all summer, unlike the ants. Just give him a leaf of lettuce and a warm blanket.

buffalodick said...

Our log lodge up North get ladybugs, flies, and wasps... wasps take care of spiders pretty good- which I like a lot!

Sabrae Carter said...

ewwwwwww grosssssssssssssss I would die!

Dana said...

Mmmmm ... BUGS!! Just think of all the new critters you'll learn about over the next few months!!

Laura said...

OMG....I would just DIE!

Me and bugs dont go at all.

I pretty much scream like a little school girl....

Jen said...

I discovered I didn't heart ladybugs when, well, when they BITE! Yes, those f*ckers bite!

Have you read my last post? I dealt a wee bit with the bug population myself . . . . . . arrrrrrrrrghck!

Jessica said...

Oh, dear...:/

vixen kitten said...

My door is open....bring your pretty self on out here. :)

~vk~

we're doomed said...

Dear RLL, there are three things you should do before you buy a house. One, hire a home inspector. Two, hire a home inspector. Three, hire a home inspector. Now I guess you need a bug exterminator. Though I really love Lady Bugs. Merry Christmas!!

Vodka Mom said...

COme on over! Of course, i have three LOUD, crazy kids, two barking dogs, and a house as big as a matchbox car- but you're welcome to come!!!!

CheekyMonkey said...

You had me until "red wasps"... forget that crap. I don't do bees, wasps, bumble bees... no sirree...

Jormengrund said...

You really don't know how to look at a gift from God, do you?

If you get frogs, then you don't have to worry about the bugs!

Silly, silly girl!

g-man said...

Bummer. I'm guessing next year you are having a discussion with an exterminator before the weather turns :) I hope that the ladybugs are the last of the bugs. (Not that I'd turn you guys out or anything:)

Charmaine said...

Ahhh. I just had a serious ant situation. I don't DO bugs.

But I swear, if you give a damn, I just solved the ant problem.

Normally this means Aunt Mary.

You clean up whatever the little critters were attracted to. Then you spray some window cleaner on the marching band of ants. You do NOT clean up the ants. You let them sit there.

This way the next band of aunts (woops I mean ants) see that this is a path to distruction. Then, miraculously, the CLEAN UP all of the dead ant bodies and run for the hills.

I'm just sayin. I saw it with my own eyes. hee hee

~Deb said...

I remember one Indian summer where we had to take a vacuum and literally suck all of the MILLIONS of ladybugs that were on my ceiling of a small room we had in the house. You could not see the ceiling at all---just orange little dotted ladybugs. MILLIONS!

I totally feel your pain.

Farmer*swife said...

Aaaughg! Flies and red wasps!!! RED WASPS!!! Gasp!

THough, the lady bugs are a beneficial and eat a lot of tiny pre-problem bugs, flies, and nasty grubs.

Never knew about the blood, stinky thingie thing, though.

But, they are awesome!

Christie said...

I would be out of that house so fast! I don't like bugs at. all.

rage said...

Insects ((shudders))

Vixen said...

*sigh* We live in the country. On a farm.

In the late fall we have flies like you. wouldn't. BELIEVE. It's *disgusting*. I am slightly comforted that everyone out here, no matter how nice their house, experiences the same thing.

In the mid summer we have grasshoppers who are out of control.

In the early fall we have spiders who come running in to stay 'warm'. Most specifically the Door Trap ones who are fucking HUGE.

....

Yeah. The realtors don't disclose 'those' things when you are looking to buy. LOL

Zed said...

Yeah those ladybugs... they hang off each other in long threads off the front door frame; it's so weird to go outside and see them like that, thousands of them...that was at my sister's house a few miles north of here. The house I live in now has a different problem: Camel Crickets, also known as ""jackal spider crabs","sprickets" or "spickets". LOL