Thursday, December 18, 2008

Oh, God!



It's rare....but occasionally I get questioned by the godly. Last week, I received this email:

Just surfing around and thru a blog i got to your blog. Hoping to read to read some funny stuff. Well the first line i saw was you are a Christian lesbian. Though i’v heard a lot in the news about gay priests, but i think its odd. Well people can choose to be whatever they want to be, thats the freedom of choice God gave, but the scriptures said we shall be accountable for our actions.


Just to cut the story short and i really don’t mean to offend you, but how can one be a lesbian and also a chistian.

Take care ma’am.

N.B: just a little about me too, am 27 male, West African, a civil engineering graduate and a bible student. Am friendly and hate when people base their opinions about others on first impressions and i love making friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was busy, so he didn't get the entire diatribe that I would spew if it were say, April and I had nothing to do but respond. So I quickly jotted:

I don't think being a lesbian prevents me from being a Christian any more than your sins prevent you from being a Christian. In the Bible teachings that I grew up with, a sin was a sin. God didn't discriminate or consider one to be worse than another.

As far as loving another person of the same gender, I believe that any love that I feel has to be better than any hate that anyone condemning me might feel. Did that make sense?


Also, if it was of such major importance, why did God forget to put it in the Ten Commandments?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really expected him to write back. He seemed nice enough and frankly, I'd kinda like to educate the guy on why I don't think I'll have a front row seat in Hell (is Hell capitalized? it's a place, right?) But he didn't respond.

I'm left with wondering what he thought....

so I'll ask you. What would you have responded back to me if you were in his shoes? Or if you're on my side of the equation, in my shoes?

55 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Very good argument you have there. And I'm an athiest.

Knight said...

I'm not Christian anymore so I don't know what to say on either end. Doesn't it seem odd that some Christians want to make their "club" so exclusive though? You don't follow all the rules in the book so you can't really be one of them, right? I think you made a great point and hopefully it helped him to understand.

Jay said...

"How can a person be both a Christian and gay?" is such a stupid question that it's actually very difficult to answer.

You did a great job with your answer though.

White Magpie said...

Just the two word reply. Doesnt deserve a word more.

Mind of MadMan said...

I so enjoy the bible toters that beat the gospel in your head with vile and violence. And then sleep easier thinking they have done a great biblical deed.
Last time I checked Jesus spoke to pimps, hookers, and derilicts. Last on his list was preist, pastors, and ministers.. think about it.

Crys said...

actually i think you did a great job. the only thing i wouldn't have done is equate being a lesbian with a sin -- just because it's NOT a sin. but i know your point; in the BIBLE it's a sin and also according to the BIBLE one sin doesn't trump another (except for blaspheming the Holy Spirit -- could you tell i was a fundie for 15 years?).

you were firm but not unkind.

vixen kitten said...

First of all you did an amazing job.

When I am questioned about my sexuality, I usually say the greatest thing God wanted to teach us by sending His son to us was LOVE. Love each other, love past the differences in each other. Love can heal even the deepest wounds, and break down even the strongest walls.

To assume because of your sexuality you can't be a Christian is possibly one of the silliest remarks I've ever heard. A Christian is someone who believes in Christ. How does being a lesbian prevent you from believing in Christ?

I also like to ask how they would feel if their pastor owned slaves. Would he consider it ok. Slavery is an acceptable thing in the Bible, yet as we grew as people we realized how wrong it is. As we know better, we do better.

Just my always humble opinion.

~vk~

Judy Shreve said...

I think you answered well - I think the guy was just curious - not judgmental - in his question. To me the term 'sin' means away from god. If you are a christian & believe in god - you are not sinning.

It's those folks who judge sitting in their exclusive christian clubs that are sinning.

Nolens Volens said...

I think you shut him the "Hell" up. LOL You were 100% on target. I respect your choice to follow a belief and all you want is that respect. Guess what? Me too. Let me have my own beliefs and I'll let you have yours. Hell is there to scare the folks. ;)

Greg C said...

I think the worst thing that Christians do is to judge others. The Bible even says that you will be judged as you judge others. The next thing that we do is to try to interoperate the Bible for others. I try to follow what it says in the Bible but I fall short on many occasions. I do encourrage others to read the Bible but I don't tell them how to live their lives. You won't see me throwing any first stones. :) Have a great day.

Fortune Cookies said...

Kudos to you for your well stated, intelligent - not emotional- response to such a sophomoric question.
I really hate it when my sexuality is somehow twisted into meaning that I am a sinner or a bad person of some sort. Love is love. And although I am not a Christian anymore, I do believe in karma, the golden rule, and basic principal that love trumps hate every time. Period. No matter who your God, Higher Power, or Jedi Master is.

fiwa said...

That was a terrific answer - good job. I would imagine he probably didn't answer back because he couldn't think of an intelligent response.

Love is love in any size, shape or form. I'm so glad you found yours.

love,
fiwa

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

bleh, you are a good person and the question of sin has nothing to do with your life---I would have been tempted, myself, to reply "f##k you buddy, mind your own business!".
The gay Episcopal priest who married us said once "the church worries too much about what happens below the waist and not enough about what happens between the ears".

Gnightgirl said...

I think your response was brilliant; his question to you *seemed* sincere, and not wrought from spite, or hate.

I had a close friend from another culture that could not wrap his head around gay or lesbian lifestyle. I could tell his ignorance was borne from naivete, and not hatred, and set about educating him (with an occasional noogie).

I can say with 100% confidence that he'd now refer to himself as a dumbass for his former views.

I hope this guy doesn't turn out to be a hater.

g-man said...

Depending on my mood I'd probably have not answered it at all. I'd have said a rather un-Christian like phrase, and moved on.

Since you were in the mood to answer I'd say you did it concisely and eloquently.

Recovering Grady Addict said...

Trying to reply without opening a huge theological debate is difficult.

I don't believe in spiritual conformity I guess. And unfortunately what many religions have experienced is forced "social conformity" over the ages. All of them have. It's difficult to follow archaic rules that were developed for social comformity 2000 years ago.

Your connection with YOUR deity is just that. It's yours. No one outside of that should tell you what it should be and how you should find it. My GF struggles with this every day. She identifies as Christian, however at the same time struggles with what she has been told a Christian HAS to be. This constantly has her torn between how God made her, and what or who she is expected to be. She hasn't concluded yet that SHE can connect with God in her own way, on her own terms, and NOT in some scripted approved manor.

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

I think your response was just perfect. :-)

Akelamalu said...

I too think your response was perfect. It matters not what religion you are (or are not), neither does it matter what sexual persuasion you are. What does matter is that there is love in your heart and not hate. :)

Ashleigh said...

Very good answer. I'm a Christian like you and neither of us are without flaws. God knows that too. That's why he sent us his Son.

Questions like these are a real puzzler and you can not please everyone without sounding like a hippocrite in some way.

I say. Live and let live.

dguzman said...

Not being a christian, I would've argued against his claim that "people can choose to be whatever they want to be"--because I've known all my life that I'm not gay by choice, no more than that guy is straight by choice.

But your answer was good too!

SkylersDad said...

Whenever people bring up the bible with me, I usually respond with "You mean that same bible that says I'm supposed to stone my neighbor if I see him working on Sunday?"

Gin said...

I think you gave him a great answer. I don't believe we choose who we love, it just happens (as is proven by the last jerk before Andy that I was in love with who turned out to be a real creep!). He should at least be respectful enough to answer your mail! JMHO

Vodka Mom said...

YES. I would have. However, I never would have asked that to begin with. All Christians aren't ignorant, are they?

Jen said...

You are full of elegance and grace! You make my heart shine every time I read your blog.

Keep being the sunshine you are - don't forget that.

Biscuit said...

You did an awesome job! I would not have made such good points. I am amazed that more of us aren't questioned in that manner regarding something we have blogged about. I did get an email once from a gentleman who inquired as to why a seemingly nice wife and mother like me would do HNT. As if I identify myself in only those ways and no others.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I think you were direct and polite. I bet you got him pondering.

Scarlet said...

Sin is sin and I don't know if anything that involves the word LOVE can be wrong or considered a "sin."

I've read the Old Testament and I know what God said about homosexuality, but I've also read The New Testament where Jesus arrives on the scene and doesn't address the issue. Also, His death on the cross covered a multitude of sins. I'd love to know how a Pastor or a church leader would answer these questions. Seriously. I have gay friends who believe in the God of the Bible and as far as I know, they're not questioned about it.

Btw, I love how you took the time to write back to that guy and voice your opinion. I hope he responds.

Vixen said...

I think you did *awesome* in your response to him!

I am an atheist as someone else stated. Not sure if that matters here in my response.......

But I also agree with something else someone else said...that Christians tend to judge each other the most. So that even more makes me feel as if you *rocked* in your answer. Nothing pleases me more than a non judgmental, open minded Christian. *grins*

Intriguing to say the least. :)

a pot, a thought & a smidgen of dirt said...

Oh I think he thought he could 'change you', as they say, or he is just surfing for 'cyber' like his little 'love making friends' hmm sorry think I been on the internet way to long.

Butch Boo said...

Well done for the calm response!

I would however, question what is considered to be a sin?

(excuse my ignorance my being an aetheist)

I get annoyed at being shouted at by an evangelist in the West End who constantly calls me a sinner and says he is a winner not a sinner!

I love my grilfriend and to me that just cant be a sin (mind you some of the things we get up to might be considered to be such!)

Love and sunshine

BB

X

we're doomed said...

RLL, you handled this issue in a very intelligent and logical manner. However, I can see the inherent logic of your answer causing great anguish to those that cannot think for themselves. Oh well, Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Monogram Queen said...

I would have never sent that email in the first place. Judgemental much? Even if he did try to couch it in "friendly" terms.
You did good not to rip him a new one :)

tiffer said...

I am a christian and allthough not a lesbian, I do not think that there is anything wrong with loving someone of the same sex love is love you can't help who you love! I think your response was very good and well put!

tiffer said...

I am a christian and allthough not a lesbian, I do not think that there is anything wrong with loving someone of the same sex love is love you can't help who you love! I think your response was very good and well put!

Jessica said...

You did a wonderful job. :) In my opinion, love is all that matters!

Brad said...

I'm unchurched so I wouldn't have a clue what to say. I think you handled it with grace.

Jeff B said...

Amazing how some people took his remarks as an attack, while others viewed them as genuine questions. How quick we tend to be to stand our ground without considering what is really said or intended.

When an open dialog is encouraged, then we all have a better opportunity to find common ground.

Lu' said...

My God loves you and as far as I can tell(you might have a secret...) you are welcome in my heaven.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I think he was sincere in his question and you were quite eloquent in your response...

Sabrae said...

I think the question was sincere enough and he wasn't trying to bash us gay folk... so I think your answer was straight and honest.

Melissa said...

He sounded genuinely curious, and I like your answer.

Ooh! Just read back and I love SkylersDad's response - it irks me to no end when people pick and choose.

paulwchambers said...

Ok, I need to get out more, but these are my feelings.

I lament against the bigots who act as judge and jury, whose actions merely fuel the fire of the incipient demise of the institutions they have built. I spoke recently with John Smith, Australian minister, and author of ‘On the side of the Angels.’ He said this, ‘that in our search for truth we will walk a very fine line to the self-righteous Pharisee…and that ultimately it’s more important to love than to be right.’

For as long as I can remember homosexual behaviour has been seen, particularly by those in the Church, as a uniquely awful perversion, existing as a consequence of humankind’s rebellion against God. The argument being that this expression goes against nature, against God’s creative design. The Scripture most used to support this is to be found in Romans 1: 26-28. Johann Christoph Arnold, who in most of his work is a much needed voice of salt and light in a tasteless and dark world, I feel assists in the burning of bridges we all someday have to cross. He also shares and voices the opinion of many who are in no position to be heard.

‘It is typical to hear people complain about the injustice of holding homosexuals responsible for an orientation or even a way of life that they themselves did not necessarily choose. But this is only an excuse for sin.’

Whilst I accept that to explain behaviour is one thing but to justify it is something altogether different, I can’t help but feel Johann is avoiding the big issue. For a difficulty remains; how does the Church proclaim the good news to gay people who does not see their persuasion as a mark of rebellion? (and i for one don’t think it is) As Rowan Williams reminds us, ‘they are told that they are tolerated, even respected; but their own account of themselves before God is not to be recognised.’ The whole issue has become rather polarised, and we are a long way from God’s call, exemplified in Christ. Jesus said, ‘love your enemies’ (and that is what homosexuals are to many Christians). He did not say, redefine them as people with alternative worldviews.

Men must learn to love one another. ‘A man needs a woman but he needs a man too, and I don’t see how you can really live an honest life without waking up to that.’ John is of the opinion, and I think he may be correct, that the gender debate has been hijacked. A minority has managed to bring us to this extreme at which the Church finds herself, the fear of showing freedom of physical expression. John concludes that, ‘I am everlastingly thankful to my father for teaching me how to cry, and for Jesus for teaching me why I should.’ There is a beautiful story that seems to capture what I am trying to say. It involves a certain Rich Mullins who, one night, accepts a lift from a relative stranger from a small town back to his campsite.

‘And so we got in his car, and just as we pulled out from under the last light in town, the guy said, “You know what, I should probably tell you that I’m gay.” And I said, “Oh, I should probably tell you that I’m a Christian.” And he said, “Well if you want out of the car…” I said, “Why?” and he said, “Well I’m gay and you’re a Christian.” I said, “It’s still five miles and it’s still dark.” He said, “I thought Christians hated gays.” And I said, “That’s funny, I thought Christians were supposed to love. I thought that was our first command.” He said, “Well I thought God hated gays.” And I said, “That’s really funny, because I thought God was love.” And then he asked me the big one. He said, “Do you think I will go to hell for being gay?”…then I said to him, “No, you won’t go to hell for being gay, any more than I’ll go to hell for being a liar. Nobody goes to hell because of what they do. We go to hell because we reject the grace that God so longs to give us, regardless of what we do.”

The kind of love Jesus describes in the story of the ‘Good Samaritan’ is far more dangerous than we have allowed it to be. It requires an intimate expression that pushes and expands our boundaries. It may demand of us that we revise our position concerning the sexual expression of anyone who is gay, who are after all just like the rest of us, trying to find a way of being faithful and obedient in the light of the revelation we’re given. Rowan Williams’ hope is that ultimately ‘what we disagree about is how knowledge-in-Christ is mediated and made actual in the Church’s life. Intolerance and fear in our communities contribute to an alarmingly high rate of self-hatred, violence and even suicide. If we remain silent, we help perpetuate the tragedy.

sin is one thing - i'm just not convinced that being gay is a sin....

Diva said...

I am on your side...

I would have said the same thing you did... sin is sin...

And I would have said, those that live in glass houses should pitch stones.

rage said...

I probably wouldn't have, but I get pissed easily.

Indigo said...

We can love who we like, what ever our religion. If god had been gay.. who knows what the world would be like now? If god had been female... it would most defiately be a better place now, toilet seats would never be up for one!The list is endless, but god I guess does have a sense of humour.. some where!

Karen said...

I love your response. I love that you said that his sins didn't prevent him from being a Christian. Honestly, I had never heard that before and I think it is clever.

I am Catholic. But one of my most fundamental beliefs is that pure, true love can never be a sin.

Also, why did God make you gay if it was wrong? God doesn't make mistakes, right?

James said...

Everybody else already said it but I think that was a terrific answer too.

coffeypot said...

I don’t pretend to speak FOR God, though he does ask my opinion on things sometimes, but, personally, if feeling loved and safe and happy and horny and giddy and stuff from someone of the same sex…it just can’t be wrong. It gives you the same harmony that being a Christian does. You just have to ignore ignorant bigots (except me) and live your life to the best of your ability.

Jormengrund said...

You should really know better than to ask me my opinion, because about 95% of the time, you'll get some smart-assed answer.

However, in regards to this religious question, I'll answer honestly and truthfully.

In the Old Testament, it simply states that homosexual relations are evil, and the practitioners of said lifestyle are to be put to death.

Do I agree with this?

No.

Because I also believe that nearly each and every sin that is described in the Old Testament was basically thrown into the garbage heap when Christ was crucified for our sins.

Thus, you lifestyle, your love, and your faith all have meaning and bearing IMHO.

I may be criticized and ridiculed for this, but that's my interpretation of what I've learned and read while doing my various religious studies.

Merry Christmas!

BPD in OKC said...

I'm bisexual, and I get those kinds of comments all the time too. There's absolutely no reason I can't be a Christian just cuz I'm bi.

Anndi said...

I think you responded perfectly.

I can't even get my brain to think the way he does.

el-staplador said...

Pretty much what Jormengrund said above. Apart from that, I'd like to say this:

God loves us. Us, not the people we think we ought to be. I believe that a true relationship with him, one based on faith not fear, on love, not self-loathing, will lead us into becoming more fully ourselves; we will accept ourselves as God does. Jesus drew to him the people who were most despised, the people whom the religious establishment considered to be beyond the pale. I believe that he's still doing it.

Of course there are some things about ourselves that we, and God, would rather were changed - I could do without such a short temper, for example - but I don't see how falling in love with people comes into that category. Love cannot be a bad thing. Oh, you can do bad things with it, but in itself it cannot be bad.

I must say I'd like to hear more about the interplay between your faith and your sexuality, though, because it's interesting. But obviously it's a very personal matter.

Jeanne said...

I like your answer, as it would be perceived from his point of view, but I hope you don't truly believe the love you share with your partner is a sin.

Because I'm pretty convinced that God doesn't.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Ray Grant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Butch Boo said...

Do you think the love you share with your partner is a sin?

Would be interested to know.

Love

BB

X