Monday, October 26, 2009

Filed In My Brain Under, "I Shit You Not"


Last week, my work phone rang and a girl proceeded to ask to speak to the manager, owner, or someone that could give her their money. Since I'm the gatekeeper around here, I finally got her to the point where I ask if she'd like to leave her name and number.

She said...

Wait. I really should point out that I am not a fun maker of. I was made fun of a blue-billion times growing up. Nothing about it was my fault. I was chubby (genetically) and red-headed. With dimples in all of the wrong places. And some in the right places. So, I'm really not one to laugh at someone else's misfortune or whatever. I'm not. I don't do it. Well, I didn't...until now.

And so, she said, "This is Aquanet Jones (not her real last name) and...."

Right there is where I lost my shit. I know they are used to people hanging up on them. And I did. Right there, I hung up on her.

So, I could laugh my stinkin' ass off.

What's the best name you've ever heard?

P.S. It could have been Aqua Net....because I did not have the wherewithall to ask her how to spell it. I lost it way before then.

20 comments:

Jess said...

Muhhaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh god! That is fantastic!!!

Jay said...

That's the best name EVER! When she said that I would have yelled "Oh it is not!!" and then accused her of making a crank call.

Or, maybe I would have just said "Hello Aquanet, my name is Haywood Jablome." hahaha ;-)~

SkylersDad said...

At my last job I worked with a guy named Harry Weiner, no shit.

Jude said...

Back in the days when I worked in an office setting we used the Pink message pads "While You Were Away" to leave messages people missed. I came back from a break to find a pink paper on my desk. Since we were a close sales group we normally knew the names of the people who called us. In this case I didn't so I proceeded to shout out several times who's Mike Hunt? Yeah, my work group got me good.

Bina said...

There is a guy in town that owns a Lumber Supply Company. His name is "Harry Organ". A DJ team made fun of him on the radio once... just once cause they got fired.

Dana said...

I'm going to do the "right" thing and not laugh ...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

... or not ...

Are you sure she didn't say Antoinette with a funny accent or something??

Umm ... one of "my" middle schoolers name is Aleksander - not really odd/funny in the sound, but I wonder if his parents were hooked on phonics!

Bond said...

Parents need to think about the consequences when they name their kids...just saying...

Akelamalu said...

We had a vet round here called P.Nut, his wife was called Hazel - honest no shit!

Ashleigh said...

made me laugh! was that bad? :)

Grant said...

Someone I know has a coworker named Mrs. Lover. Her husband's name is Dick.

Doris said...

LOVE IT!!!!

Peace - D

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I used to work for the Girl Scout Council and would process forms (like financial aid forms). I always read the names, because it was a comedy gold mine! The best one of all: Tequila (first name) Sunrise (middle name) X (last name). I almost suspect it was her mom's favorite beverage while pregnant. LOL.

phd in yogurtry said...

Lately, my favorite LOL name is Christine. As in this particular Christine:

http://media.photobucket.com/image/%252522christine%20michael%252522%20aggie/Pumchavas28/ChristineMichael.jpg

And it's pronounced as you'd think, Chris-teen.

Story goes, his mother wanted a girl and couldn't part with the name.

nitebyrd said...

OMG! This is my brother, Pantene! Too funny!

nitebyrd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
prissynotgirly said...

hahahaha

oh my

tee hee hee

but on a serious note

lololololol

i'm sure you were not the first person to hang up on her

roflmao!!

Jormengrund said...

Heh..

Next, you'll be getting calls from folks asking for Dr. Ben Dover..

Or maybe Frank Dikinme.

You never know!

CheekyMonkey said...

I once had a girl work for me named Tamesha. She had two little girls named, Amesha and Mesha.

Seriously.

Sheri said...

Does she have two kids- Dawone and Daudderone?

J.J. in L.A. said...

I was working the phone overnight at a charity telethon and got a call from a guy to donate money.

I asked his name and he said, "Peter Dick." I'm suprised I was able to get the dude's credit card info before losing it.