Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Universe Is Messin' With Me

I'm terrible at going to the hospital and nursing home. It's not that I don't want to go. I do. I want to be there for them. The part of me that is painfully shy takes over. What if I say the wrong thing? What if there's nothing to talk about? What this? What that?

Just last week, I asked my cousin to let me go with her to visit her mom, my Aunt Gladys. Ok, I'm going. I fully intend to keep visiting her. I've made the first step in getting more comfortable with this. I have two weeks to think and fret about it. Get some pictures together. Have things to talk about. Ok.

Over the weekend a very dear friend of mine was in a very bad accident. He's in the Trauma Unit and in critical condition. I have to go see him. He's being moved to Atlanta to a Spinal Rehab clinic in a few days.

I guess the Universe thinks that it's time I learn how to do this.

Yesterday afternoon, my mother, my love and I went to visit. We checked in at the nurse to get a pass. His mom came out and handed me one of the two passes.

His mom: Your Ex The Redneck is in there with Josh, you can go on in.
In my head: Seriously, I have to do this with HER?
Me: Thanks. I won't stay too long.

My ETR was in the restroom when I went in. She kinda looked like she'd been poked with a sharp stick when she came out and saw me there. We were cordial.

I guess the Universe decided to kill two birds with one stone. Make me be nice to my ETR and visit someone in the hospital.



P.S. I really do realize that this isn't about me. I know that I'm fortunate to be the one visiting.

21 comments:

Matt-Man said...

Visiting anyone in that situation is uncomfortable even for those visiting without tubes and shit in their arms. I never know what to say half the time. I commiserate. Cheers!!

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Oh man, sorry about all this news...but were you tempted to stomp on your ex and put them into the hospital? Sorry, a little dark humor...

Lynette said...

It is hard not knowing how to handle a situation. And your grew at that. Your doing good. I think the hardest part is that we can not fix the situation that put them there. So we feel helpless and of course they do too!

Jeanne said...

You're doing great! If you want to make it a little less painful, lower your expectations of yourself a tad. By even going you're demonstrating that you're 10x more other-focused than most of us manage to be.

we're doomed said...

Your maturity on this issue is greatly appreciated. Your right, it isn't about you. Many people think it is though. I can run out of fingers and toes and freckles counting the people I know who would have not handled the visit the way you did.

we're doomed said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kimber p said...

RLL..you have way more strength and class than you're giving yourself credit for. If you have to, take on a different persona and act the way that persona would act in that particular situation..freak em all out and have a laugh at the same time..either way, you're gonna come out the other end of it a better person..

g-man said...

I'm glad that you are taking what you are given and making the best from it. Keep it up.

Sorry about your friend.

Enjoy the visit with your aunt. Remember that someone does not have to be talking the entire time. Enjoy the quiet moments too.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

Definitely a good deed of the day.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

I'm sorry that happened to your friend.

God blesses those that visit the sick or are in hospitals.

That's what my mother told me when I was a young girl going to CCD classes. :D
Ciao honey.

Jay said...

Yeah, sometimes the universe says "Okay. It's time to do these things. Let's go!"

Sorry about your friend. Hope he recovers fully.

Diane said...

i freeze up in those kinds of situations too. i think a lot of ppl do, so you are def not alone.

it kinda sucks you had to see the ex too, on top of everything else.

i hope your friend gets better quick, and that your visit with your aunt goes well.

breathe. relax. easier said than done, i know.

Brad said...

You have a great big heart. Just being there will be all that's needed. Don't sweat it too much.

Need my beauty sleep eh? That's the last time I post a post-haircut pic on my blog...*muah*

Lu' said...

You and I are in the same boat except for the ex part. Maybe if we paddle fast enough we can just GET AWAY...

Laura said...

Yeah, it can be awkward and uncomfortable in those situations....but still greatly appreciated by those you visit.

I work in medicine. There are times I STILL dont know the right things to say.....somtimes just a touch or a hug does it.

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

i am sorry to hear about your friend.

good on you for going in and having to deal with the ETR all at the same time.

your friend is happier knowing you were there.

and you will be just fine with aunt gladys also. i have faith in you.. it will go smooth as silk :)

*hugs*

Loz said...

I tend to be a coward in those situations. You've done well.

fiwa said...

You aren't alone - I feel that same way. If I may suggest something - can you read to your Aunt? Sometimes that is a good way to spend the time, specially if it's an older person who's eyesight isn't so good.

Big hugs for trying to get out of your comfort zone. It's hard to do.

fiwa

Gina said...

I suck at visiting people in the hospital too. Good to know I am not the only one.

Dana said...

EEEUUWW! I'm not good with hospitals either, but I'd say the hospital was the best part of that visit!

LSL said...

What a clever "PS." I have a difficult time going to see my grandmother in The Home, and I think I need to appreciate that I'm lucky to be the one visiting, too!