Saturday, April 19, 2008

2:30pm Friday


Me: Hello?

Her: Hi, this is Jennifer with NowPlayingNashville.com. I'm calling to tell you that you've won the Beginner Argentine Tango Workshop from Tango Nashville! It starts tomorrow morning at 10:30am, can you make it?

Me: Of course! I was BORN to tango!


Saturday morning, 10:30am at the Global Education Center

I'm no dancer and have NEVER been to a dance class. Will there be cheesy, greasy guys looking for lov-ahs? Tango aficionados? Clueless geeks? Looks like mostly the latter. Thank you, God. And I'm not the only plus-sized girl. Whew.

As luck would have it, the girls outnumber the guys. Damn. (wink) I hate it when that happens.

Yasar, our instructor, tells everyone to find a partner. The women quickly grab the men. The woman next to me and I are partnered up. Looks like I'm going to get to be the boy! Finally. I never get to be the boy at home!

Put your right hand on her shoulder blade. Left hand palm up for her to place hers into. Slowly and deliberately, walk into her trying to step on her feet. Right leg across to her left leg. Then back to the middle. Guide her across the room. Box step her. Elbows up. Palm up. Don't squeeze her! Keep her out of the brick walls and mirrors. For an hour and a half.

I dance with three women and three men. News flash: Men are goobers. They have no idea how to act around women they've just met. Women are just SO much more fun! Plus they're not all icky.

It's incredibly hard to learn both parts. Doing so does have it's advantages, though. I don't have to dance with as many men!

Who wants to come help me practice? Now, where'd I put those fishnet hose?

31 comments:

cook eat FRET said...

good for you for going! even if i could've and ummm, i can't dance even a little - i think i mighta passed on it and missed out on the experience...

so, good for you for going!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Cook: That's funny...everyone that I told asked me if I was going to go! Hell yeah! I wouldn't miss an opportunity that the Universe/God threw my way. It was tons of fun!

Jay said...

Cool beans! I can't wait to see a video of you dancing the Tango posted here! ;-)

When I was in college I almost signed up for a ballroom dancing class but got talked out of it by some guys telling me it was stupid.

The next semester I happened to walk past the room where the ballroom dancing class was being held at the student gym and looked in.

There were like 4 guys and at least 12 girls. And all the girls were wearing short shorts or short skirts and heels. I totally missed out! I never got another chance to take the class either. So sad. haha

Hammer said...

Glad you're having fun! I can't dance unless there is booze involved :)

Akelamalu said...

That does sound like fun! MWM and I are going to our first Salsa class on Thursday with son & dil, we were supposed to go last week, and the week before, I'm putting my foot down with a firm hand this week - WE ARE GOING!

Leighann said...

How freakin cool is that? I'd love a chance to do something like that but I pretty much freeze in public when people are looking at me so I don't think I'd be very good at it! LOL

Real Live Lesbian said...

Jay: Were the ones that talked you out of it the guys in the class? :)

Hammer: Booze wouldn't have helped. It was kinda hard!

Akelamalu: Drag em'!

Leighann: We would have put you in the middle and danced around you!

Gene Bach said...

Dance? Shoot, I can't even walk across the room without tipping over. LOL! I am always amazed the folks who can do all those cool ballroom dances or the hip-hop stuff. Me, I'd be doing the _hip-break" stuff if I tried that. LOL!

buffalodickdy said...

I'm not as flexible as I used to be, but enjoy watching good dancers!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Gene: I stepped on the instructor's toes enough that he won't soon forget me. Is that a bad thing?

Buff: Somebody's gotta do the watching!

KellyKline said...

Sounds like an absolute blast! I've always wanted to take dance lessons - guess I won't be doing much of that 'til the knees heal.

BTW, I danced to that Apple Bottom Jeans song last week at Lipstick - you know the part "Shorty got low, low, low"? Well .... Shorty got low, low, low. The beer helped me not to feel the post-op knee pain. The next day, however, I felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat.

Palm Springs Savant said...

I would LOVE to tango and dance. So if straight men are icky, what about gay boys? Do we get a pass?

Real Live Lesbian said...

Kelly: It was a blast! As soon as that knee heals, I expect to see you tangoing!

Rick: Most men aren't. It just so happened that the ones at the tango class were clammy handed and clumsy, therefore icky. Something about putting my hand in a sweaty man's hand that is off-putting!

Dana said...

*waves hand wildly* Can I cut in??

Freakazojd said...

Oh my goodness, if we lived closer to each other I would TOTALLY help you practice. Except that I don't know what I'm doing. But the tango? LOVE the tango.
Sounds like fun!!!

Travis said...

Did you find Tango to be a tough dance to lead? I always thought it was because of the precise way you have to use your feet, and the snap turns.

coopernicus said...

As a goober, I guess I'm not invited. I don't even have fishnet hose either. Man I'm really screwed...

Real Live Lesbian said...

Dana: Please DO!

Freak: Come on down, girl! Put the fishnets on!

Travis: YES!!!! Women have it extremely easy with the tango...just follow the lead. It is a stunning dance, but very hard!

Coopernicus: Wanna watch? ;) Nevermind, you can borrow my fishnets!

Raven said...

Hubby and I want to take dance classes but so far between the kids schedules and our own, the classes don't match up. A couple more years the kids will be gone and we should be able to manage it then.
Until then...maybe I'll come down and take a lesson from you!

kateanon said...

Tango, and fishnets and dancing, oh my!

Sounds like fun, good for you for trying something new.

I'm a perpetual klutz, but the tango seems so damn sexy. I still remember how crushed I was when I found out my blind husband couldn't tango like Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman"...

captain corky said...

As luck would have it, the girls outnumber the guys. Damn. (wink) I hate it when that happens.

Yeah, me too... ;)

Tall Man Molly said...

Stupid icky men.......

Jules~ said...

Dancing! how fun for you! I have always figued that to be something I'd like to do once my schedule is more free.
I see you have updated your profile pic. Red compliments you.
Isn't it fun to spruce things up every now and again?

Odat said...

How cool!!! I would've loved to learn how to tango....I guess I can still learn, huh???? ;-)
Peace

Spiky Zora Jones said...

sweetie...my cousin is two time world champ. Come by my blog and check out Post titled...Are you New? He performed in the show "Dancing with the Stars' last week while James Blunt sang his song.

Sweetie you'll do great. You'll always walk...I mean...dance away a better than before.

ciao babes.

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

"Finally. I never get to be the boy at home!"

hee!! that's one of th' bestest 1-liners I've read all week!!

Tink said...

You are a brave woman. Me, I have two dances, booty and crazy. The second only comes out when I'm at home making cookies.

BostonPobble said...

AAAAA! I have always wanted to learn to tango. You must post pictures! (okay, perhaps must is too strong a word. How 'bout pleeeeeeeeeeeeese.....)

Jo said...

Lucky you! I've been dying to take tango lessons...there are some really great tango movies out there that just make me swoon. I think I'd rather dance with a woman too...men get clammy & move like robots when they're self-conscious.

Baby said...

I cannot stop laughing.... your sense of humor is just delightful and much needed today. But, "plus they're not all icky" part just did me in!

Anndi said...

You know.. I can do that pose. :)