Hard On

If I could marry a vacuum, it would be this one. I just named him Harrison and used him for the first time. Oh. My.

My. My. My.

I already have a Dyson and yeah, it was fantastic in it's day. Four years ago. But this new Dyson DC-28 Animal with AirMuscle technology. Mmmmm. Quiet and smooth. Picked up even more than the old Dyson that had just done the same job. Yeah, I'm loving him.

I feel like I bought a new sports car. And frankly, I think the lady at the UPS store where I had to go sign for it would have come home with me if I'd asked her. She was that hot for my new vacuum.

Is It That Important?

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Another guest post by Dana


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There seems to be a bit of an odd theme going on here at Lynn's place - first there was my Ashes to Ashes post where I talked about creative funeral/cremation plans. Recently Lynn talked about how she wanted to be remembered at her funeral.

You'd think we were both over 40 and that feeling of invincibility was waning or something. Well yes, as a matter of fact ...

Here's a question for all of you though, have you considered what will happen to all of your online accounts? Your blog? Your twitter account? Facebook? What about all of the URL's and passwords for your banking/financial accounts??

Me? I'd never considered it until I received a BzzAgent invitation to explore Otrib's Final Wishes Service.

Otrib is an interesting (for lack of a better word) website. It allows you to add a facebook app that gives you a life status indicator on your profile, real-time death notification to all connections and a dedicated tribute page with memorial service, donation information and guestbook ... all for free.

With registration, and a few minutes of your time, you can name an heir for your digital assets, describe how your facebook account should be managed upon your death and help your next of kin save time and money by automatically sending out death notice to friends and family and creating a tribute page / interactive online obituary.

Hmmmm ... I'm not so sure I want my obituary broadcast on facebook ... but it's an interesting idea.

If you are concerned about more than your facebook account, you can explore Legacy Locker.

Legacy Locker offers a free basic plan (3 assets, 1 beneficiary and 1 "legacy letter") or annual ($29.99)/lifetime ($299.99) paid plan options that include unlimited assets, unlimited beneficiaries, unlimited legacy letters, enabled document backup and enabled video upload.

Honestly? I don't see a need for either of these. They seem somewhat self-important and self-absorbed. I can understand providing beneficiaries with URL's and passwords for banking/financial accounts (I'm fairly certain they could be included in a will), but a self-designed tribute page on facebook seems ... well ... *shakes head*

What do you think? Would you use either of these services?

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My Funeral

And here you have it. I'm not dying and I don't plan on skipping out anytime soon. BUT, please when you bury me and do the whole "let's look at her dead and say how great she looks," just don't.

I hate funerals. HATE them.

Tell stories about me. Laugh. No black. Sorry, I know how much some of you love black...it is slimming, but no. You can't wear it to my funeral.

If you didn't bother to call me or stop by during the last year of my life, don't show up at my damn funeral. I wouldn't have done it to you, which is why I don't go to that many. Don't come for my family if you didn't know me. Take them to dinner or out shopping in the months after I'm gone when they're sad.

I'd like some party balloons, no funeral homes. Purple and lime green? Red and cream? Pink and orange? Lots of flowers and yeah, they'll be gone in a week but at that moment, they'll be beautiful!

I don't care if you bury me, cremate me, or float me out on a flaming viking boat and serve shots. I'm dead. I promise, I won't care.

What I do want you to do is remember me and enjoy those memories while you're gathered together with my friends. Oh, and turn on that Ghost Radar app on my ipod. I'm definitely going to say hello from the other side!

Happy Friday with some BEAUTIFUL Body Paint

All images are from CanvasAlive.com by Pashur, who oddly enough started right here in Nashville as a caricature artist at Opryland. Amazing work!

Roscoe

Today, I ran out to grab lunch for the work crew. I pull into Arby's, order, drive up to the window and there's a dog lying in the drive-thru lane. RIGHT in front of me. Just one car length up...as if he had to wait on his fresh, hot fries to come out.

Jokingly, I said, "Did I win a free dog?" thinking that he had been dropped off and left to fend for himself.

"Oh, that's just Roscoe he lives up in the subdivision." Then he yells towards the back, "HEY, Roscoe's here."

"He comes by every once in a while and we give him some Roast Beef and Au Jus."

I watched as I waited on our order. The manager immediately walked out with two bowls of roast beef. Roscoe got up from the drive-thru and walked over to the grass to enjoy his lunch.

Nicely done, Roscoe. Way to train some folks!

Welcome To My World

Mark, the window guy as he tromps mud onto my clean floor: "We have two dogs. One's a poodle type of dog. Poodle dogs are smart. The smartest dogs in the world. This here's a nice dog, too."

Me: "Yeah, Isaac is a sweetheart."

Bubba walks in.

Mark: "Bubba, what kind of dog is Turd?"

Is Tolerance Our Best?

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Another guest post by Dana


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Yesterday was National Coming Out Day - a day managed by the Human Rights Campaign to not only encourage the LGBT community to speak up (and out) for who they are, but to get ALL people to talk about their support for equality at home, at work and in their communities.

Throughout the news and the cyber world, I kept seeing and hearing reference to tolerance. We need to have tolerance for the LGBT community. We need to have tolerance for those who lead a different lifestyle than we do. We need to have tolerance, not hate.

I disagree.

Merriam-Webster defines tolerance as:

sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own.

Sympathy? Indulgence? Wow! Really?

As a society, we've kind of come to an acceptance of tolerance. We've set it as the goal we should all strive to meet. I think we can do better than tolerance.

I don't want to be tolerated in spite of my differences, I want to be celebrated for ALL that I bring to the table.

I don't want people to have sympathy for my sexual orientation, or to allow me to indulge in my sexual preferences. That reeks of needing their permission.

I don't want their permission - I don't want their tolerance - I want their acceptance.

At some point, society lost the true definition of acceptance and began defaulting to tolerance. There seems to be this underlying fear that if we accept people in spite of their sexual orientation (or race, or religion, or gender, or any other difference) that we somehow lessen the pride we have regarding of our own sexual orientation (or race, or religion, or gender, or any other difference).

It's crazy.

I suppose tolerance is a start, but I think we should set the bar higher - much higher.

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A special thanks to Emmy at Right Turn Without Signaling for her Tolerance post yesterday that served as an inspiration for this post.

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Suicide....and Goodbye

It's not that one thing that someone said THAT day. It's not one thing. I can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for me. For 25 years, I lived a lie. Not a big lie. But a thousand little lies.

At 16, "Do you have a boyfriend?" "No." It lead them to think that something was wrong with me, because I didn't date.

I lied about my sexuality, which lead me to lie about where I was going and with whom. I lied and lied and lied and lied. I lied about where I went on vacation. I lied about who I lived with. I lied about who I loved.

Then there are the people who are mean in this world. I can't blame them. Some people are entertained by fat kids or people who are different. Some people are just mean to be mean. I don't blame them, just because I don't have a thick skin. Maybe they thought they were helping to develop my tolerance for mean people that I would encounter when I grew up.

It didn't work. Even today, I don't tolerate mean people. My friends joke that I'm intolerant of intolerance. I don't like mean girls. I don't like people who are entertained at the expense of others. And I don't let them in my life anymore. That took a long time. It's too easy for some of us to be nice and just lie down like a doormat over and over and over.

"Grow some balls." No, I won't. Because then I'm not me anymore. I am sensitive and I'd rather be that way than ballsy and mean.

I've heard of too many people lately that have taken their lives. It's a shame. I wish I could show them what's around the next corner. There are many wonderful people in this world who will love you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. You just have to live long enough to find them all.

I don't lie anymore. My family knows that I love My Love. My work peeps know her and love her. My uncle FaceTimes her. My mother ADORES her and calls her "my second daughter." She'll hug and kiss her every time she sees her, which is almost daily.

If you see someone in a lie, don't out them. Don't be mean. Don't gossip.

Love them. Love them the way they are right now. Tell them that you love the real them, not the lie them. Love is the only thing in this world that matters one little bit.

Santa Likes All Of Us

I was talking to an old friend of mine, who's one of those guys that LOVES to entertain and make you laugh. I was telling him about some land that I want and how I'd asked Santa for it.

"I've been wanting it for quite a while now. I even asked Santa for it. And I've been a very good girl!"

"Honey, Santa likes bad girls, too. Really, really bad girls. Filthy girls. That whole good girl thing is a LIE!"

Villain or Hero?

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Another guest post by Dana


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You may have heard [THIS STORY].

Last week, Margaret Matthews, 68, decided she'd had enough of two neighborhood boys (12 and 13) who she claims have been harassing her in her south side Chicago home for more than a year.

She had been grocery shopping and when she returned to her house she noticed broken windows and saw two boys running away.

The boys came back and Matthews stood on her porch and confronted them. Allegedly, they responded by throwing bricks and rocks at her. One hit her in the chest.

She went inside, grabbed a gun and called police.

Concerned the police wouldn't make it in time, she went back outside and fired at the boys, wounding the 12-year-old in the shoulder.

According to Illinois law, Matthews' use of force qualifies as self defense if she "reasonably believed that such force was necessary to prevent imminent death or great bodily harm." The police decided not to charge Matthews. The boys face charges of aggravated assault.

The 12-year-old boy's family told another story, insisting the boy didn't break the window and the shooting was unprovoked.

Some in the neighborhood are calling Matthew's a hero, a descriptor she takes issue with.

"There is nothing heroic about any individual getting hurt by another individuals hand," Matthews said. "I pray for this young man and am so happy he'll be alright."

"I'm sorry that all of this happened," she said. "I hope and pray that something positive can come from what happened to him.

"He might not realize it," she added, "but I might have saved his life, because if he keeps on going on the path he's on someone else may not be so lenient.

"This way," she said, "he's got a chance."

What do you think? Is Matthews a hero or a dangerous granny with a gun who over-reacted?

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Happy Birthday to ME!

A day late, but I was busy eating Red Velvet Cake yesterday! Ohmahgawd, it was soooo good!