Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I Need A Man



A gay man, really. And I need him RIGHT NOW.

I'm an only child, so I am throwing my parents a 50th Wedding Anniversary Party. Long time, 50 years. Plus, 50 years ago they went to Ringgold, GA and were married by a Justice of the Peace. Nothing fancy.

Fast forward to now. I'm planning the party to make up for that simple wedding.

My mother picked out a cake with fuschia and orange flowers. But the party is going to be in September. So I *think* red and orange would be a more appropriate color scheme for my backyard where they just delivered an 8 foot white wrought iron scrolled archway. I'm planting the mandevilla on it this afternoon.



I know that I have four months, but I've never planned a wedding, um I mean Anniversary Party before. I'm stressed. I need a Cake Magician to replicate what my mother has picked out and flowers...I've GOT to have flowers....and decor.

Now you see why I need a gay man. Is the top picture too summery? I think so....but it could be damn hot in TN in September!

Gay men....HELP!!!!


32 comments:

Bina said...

Okay, I'm not a man, and I'm not gay, BUT, the top picture looks like Spring to me. I LOVE the colors in the second picture. Seems exactly perfect to me!

The only gay man I actually know lives in Hawaii. But, if you go the my blog, look on the right side bar, go to Beth's blog and then to David Dust's blog (whew, sorry) I bet he can help you!

Grant said...

After 50 years of marriage, they're bound to be pretty old. I say you adopt a death theme for the party. Dress like the grim reaper, use all black decorations, and remind them that this may be their last year together because that wacky god with his sense of humor could claim them at any time OMG LOOK OUT okay false alarm. Also, black is very slimming, but it may be hot in September. See if they're willing to do it on Halloween - kill two birds with one stone.

And I'm not totally gay, btw, even though I do have great fashion sense and party ideas.

SkylersDad said...

Damn girl! Based on your post title I just pulled something spinning around and clicking on this!!

Imagine my disappointment when I read the rest of the post... ;^)

Jude said...

Whoa...big party! And how sweet of you for doing this for your parents too even with all the stressors. I would need a gay man to help out too. Good luck!

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

that f###ing snake still gives me the willies....

Akelamalu said...

Calm down, make a list(s)and enlist some help. :)

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I love the colors in the 2nd palatte. Even if it's not officially fall yet - September can be considered fall. Is this early, mid or late Sept.? You don't have any gay male friends? I've got tons of them! :-)

Nolens Volens said...

Damn. I'm a man, but nowhere near the gay neighborhood. ;) I'm GREAT at logistics tho.

Lu' said...

I like Mother's choice in colors. Isn't it what Mother wants Mother gets? Just asking no need to cry stomp feet and reach for a drink :)

Kelli said...

I'm not gay... or a man. But I am an only child. I can just imagine how you feel right now. You're right, the top pic is more Spring/Summer and the bottom one would be more appropriate for fall. Mention it to your mom, she might change her mind. If not, it is her party so let it be known (loudly) that it was her choice of colors! Good luck, hun.

we're doomed said...

Gay is the way, Rll. Talk to a caterer too.

Gina said...

I vote for color choice #2. And I've always wanted a gay man. You know, to go shopping with, vent to...sigh.

vixen kitten said...

OK, I'll throw my two cents in, even though I am not a gay man.

Both color choices are beautiful. The problem I have with the second one is it screams Fall, and if is remotely warm, would just seem out of place, to me. I think it would be a better choice for October. Even up here, September is still a fairly warm month.

Since you Mom requested pink and orange, and it really is HER special day, I'd say go with the first photo group. It's stunning, and it will make the bride happy. I don't think you can go wrong with that. Anyone who has been married 50 years deserves to have whatever colors they choose, no matter what season it is!

xoxo
~vk~

PS....As a pink freak myself, I gotta throw in the fact that pink is a happy color, and a day to celebrate 50 years is as good as any to have much lavish use of the color! Just sayin.... :)

Blogget Jones said...

To be honest, I don't think it matters if it's Spring or Fall....just whatever makes them happy! I love the pink and orange. It's bright and festive...and your mom picked it. However, the red and orange is a little more subdued and stately. And maybe more to Dad's liking? Both are lovely, though.

I'm a big help....I know. Maybe it's because I'm not a gay man! ;o)

Good luck!
:o) BJ

Bond said...

Male...yes

Gay...no (but have had gay relatives and friends my entire life)

I agree with Vixen. Mom asked for the colors. It is her day and you are trying to make it even more special so go with the first palette.

I am well known for throwing excellent parties (logistics, menu etc), and have a ton of music from your parents era through now, so if you need anything...ya know how to reach me.

meno said...

Sorry, not gay, barely even a woman, so no help here. Just moral support and to say that it's great of you to do this for them.

Desert Rat said...

I like the colors in the second photo the best :)

Really, though, I wanted to comment on Bina's comment: I know an events coordinator (gay man who I grew up with), who now works in the San Francisco Bay Area but who USED to be a managing partner of Global Aloha Wedding and Events in Hawaii and I am wondering to myself if he might know David Dust (who is also an Event Coordinator and Bina said he'd lived in Hawaii).

I apologize 'cause I know this doesn't help you with your dilemma! But wouldn't that be cool?

MA Fat Woman said...

Good luck!

Cloudia said...

LOL!!!

Dana said...

Will the opinion of a "refuses to categorize herself sexually" female do? I say if your mom likes the orange and fuchsia pallet, go with it! It might actually be a nice compliment to the more muted colors of fall!

Ashleigh said...

I'm not gay or a man so i wish you luck in your search. lol.

~*Jobthingy*~ said...

the top pic is too summery. yes it is still warm in sept but the leaves are still starting to change.

you want to go with the darker fall colors for sure

C said...

i like the first set of colors, as that is what momma wants... PLUS in tenn it will still be hotter than a fresh fart anyways.... i say keep it summery and go with the pinks. reds are too dark for sept.


C

Laura said...

I planned my parent's surpirse 50 anniversary! It was two years ago!

Everyone is still talking about it!

Dont panic. It will all come together!

g-man said...

Sorry. I'm good at pictures. I'm sure you could have burlap table cloths and your parents will love it because it is a celebration with people who care about them.

CheekyMonkey said...

:) That first photo looks like MY wedding. I'd say go with that. Vixen said it's going to be too hot there to go with fall colors...

You can take a picture of your mom's cake to most bakeries (that do lots of cakes) and they'll be able to replicate it. Don't stress over that.

Flowers, ANY florist will be able to help you get those. Thing is, being a fall wedding in TN, the Gerbera daisy's MIGHT be hard to get, but again, that can be the florists problem.

Notice the key here? GIVE Your vendors your problem. "I would like for you to get me XYZ. Mkaythxbai. " Period. If they can't do it, they'll tell you right there and you can either have them suggest something similar or move on to someone else.

The main thing here though... don't stress over the small stuff. It may not seem like it now, but towards the end, it'll ALL come together just beautifully. This is terribly sweet of you to do for your folks!!!

CrystalChick said...

I'm sure everything will come together and you will make it perfect for them.
BTW, do they still live in Ringgold? I don't know if that's a small town or not... but I have a girlfriend who lives there!

Don't stress... have fun planning the party!! You'll do great and they will love it all.

Vodka Mom said...

omg I lOVED that post.

I hope everything was SMASHING!!!

nitebyrd said...

You'll do fine. She's your mom, whatever you do will be wonderful!

rage said...

lmfao @ Grant's comment...I fell on the floor laughing.

Sorry. I know that wasn't any help to you.

I like the colors in the second picture.

el-staplador said...

You know, even though I officially hate pink I love the top picutre. Although the bottom one is also gorgeous. I don't know!

I can lend you a straight man if you like; he's currently polishing the brass for our wedding, while I prat around on the internet.

P.L. Frederick said...

What could be gayer (and happier) than fuchsia and orange? Whatever colors you choose, accent with tons of sparklys, tons. You can trust my advice because if I'da been born male I might be gay.

Thanks tons for visiting Small & Big and leaving a commento.