Monday, April 13, 2009

Just Like Cats


You won't even understand that unless you are or know someone who is allergic to cats. They're DRAWN to us. Like moths to the flame. It is the same with clowns. They seem to sense the people who are willing themselves invisible.

Saturday we arrived at the Cirque du Soleil performance of Saltimbanco. As the lights go down on the crowd, we are sitting on the floor, sixth row back. The very back row on the floor.

My Love is obviously tense as the clowns walk out. I've promised her that they won't interact with the audience. They don't do that, right? It's not like a circus circus with goofy, freaky American clowns.

A group of them stand in front of the first row. Reach down, intertwine arms with them and walk them off. Then they run back and sit in their seats leaving the Nashvillians in a group on the other side of the stage. Cute.

But that's it, I promise her. They'll start the show now.

That's when I notice two clowns lingering behind us. One male, one female with freaky masks.


Two white fingers start playing the "I'm not touching you" game with her pony tail. I lean over, "Don't look behind you." Hoping that they'll move along for her sake.

She leans forward and whispers, "I know!"

I wish I could sympathize, but I can't. It's just to
o damn funny. Tears stream down my face.

They played for about a minute before one of them lightly pulls her pony and they run off.

They smelled her fear.




31 comments:

vixen kitten said...

OMG I feel for her. There are only two things I am afraid of in life. One is clowns and the other is politicians.

One hides behind make up, and the other behnd well spun words.

Both. Are. Evil.

I hope you did something nice to soothe her trama. :)

xoxo
~vk~

SkylersDad said...

Skyler hates clowns and those sports teams mascots you see at events. And they both always want to come up to him.

Southern Sage said...

The bride is frigging terrified of clowns!
WTH is that about?
I don't get it.

Akelamalu said...

Oooer evil clowns!

meno said...

Good thing she wasn't packing!

Jay said...

Clowns are kind of creepy, but I'm not really all that afraid of them.

I'm terribly allergic to cats and they luuuuuuuuuuv me! Cats who normally hate people just jump right up in my lap. They know when people are allergic to them and exploit it. ;-)

Bond said...

It amazes me that so many are afraid of clowns...

clowns rock!

Laura said...

OMG! I would have FREAKED out.

I give her credit for even going!

I HATE CLOWNS!

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Cirque de soleil is awesome though!

Jude said...

LOL..but just a little.
I don't know how she stayed in her seat.
Steven King's book IT did it for me for clown fear.

Jeanne said...

Clowns are pretty scary -- and Cirque de Soleil clowns scarier than most. Fortunately, she had her love to console and protect (or laugh like a hyena, whatever works).

Bina said...

That poor thing. I can't say I know how she feels, because I don't think there is anything I'm that afraid of.

But man, I didn't even know they were in town!!!! I would love to go to that!

Nolens Volens said...

Go clowns go! LOL Kidding aside, I am genuinely baffled by the fear of clowns...maybe it is because they know something that I don't? Hmm.

Gnightgirl said...

At one point in my life, I collected clowns; I finally gave up my little clowny curio cabinet after so many people acted like it was stocked with pickled fetuses or something.

Jen said...

Clowns are creepy. I'm not afraid, I just find them creepy. I am afraid of those evil, vile, beastly, spiteful SPIDERS. Now that would have sent me screaming!

Grant said...

Just be glad you're not allergic to rabid elephants.

fiwa said...

That cracks me up! Your poor Love though - I bet she was terrified they were going to try to get her to go on stage or something. They probably smell fear. ;)

Karen said...

This may not be PC but I am saying it anyway...it is like midgets too. I am scared to death of the little buggers and - with out fail - if there is a midget/dwarf in my vacinity he or she will saddle up next to me and try to talk. Holy hell, I am sweating just thinking about it.

I know they smell my fear.

Butch Boo said...

You know- I don't think I've ever heard of anyone who actually likes clowns...why oh why do they still exist- let's exterminate them!

BB
X

buffalodick said...

Go on the edge, suffer the fear of the edge.. Clowns and Mimes annoy me- my best friend in 6th grade became one....a mime , that is..

Biscuit said...

OMG, I would have felt like puking.

Kelly went on Friday night! She didn't mention any clown episodes thought. :)

Dana said...

I am NEVER going to any place with you that might have clowns - NEVER!

Gina said...

How can I be laughing so hard and still feel so sorry for her?

Aunt Jackie said...

I'm afraid I am the same as your love with the Clowns... they totally SUCK! They're horrible and scary. WTF are they hiding???

Down with Clowns!!!

I'm catching up, sorry haven't been by in a while!

xoxo

we're doomed said...

After we kill all of the Lawyers. Lets kill those damm Clowns. And then the Mimes. Then the team mascots. Wait! Is this a family Blog? Perhaps we should just outlaw the above folks, sorry. I was on a roll there.

Sonora Sage said...

I don't hate clowns, but when Saltimbanco came to my city and my friend swung up some free tickets I was sooooo glad they weren't anywhere near the front row. I hate any involvement in that sort of "audience participation" stunt.

I hope you both enjoyed the show. I thought it was amazing and we were lucky enough to be taken on a backstage tour afterward by their head carpenter. It is incredible what it takes for them to go on the road.

Scarlet said...

LOL - I would've died!

ntsc said...

I find a gentle 'Get the F away from me' works quite well.

Jess said...

LMAO! That is hilarious!!!

Lynette said...

at least it was not PennyWise.

nitebyrd said...

Clowns are freakin' scary as hell!