Sunday, November 9, 2008

Hot Lesbian Action


What they didn't tell me about the huge stone fireplace in the log cabin was that it would require massive amounts of wood. The first load that we came upon was a returned favor from a guy at the boat dock that we let use our slip. He had some wood that he wasn't using and said that we could have it.

Honestly, I didn't appreciate it. I had no idea. I grew up with gas logs in the fireplace. You turned the knob and it warmed right up.

In a real log fireplace, not so easy.

We've been burning the free wood when I was a tad chilled on Saturday mornings or when it was cool and we had company over. Yeah, I'm a dumbass.

Now, we're almost out of the free wood. I noticed a sign that said FREE FIREWOOD on the way home from work last week. Free REALLY fits into our budget. I told my girl about it and today we headed out for the log gathering. It's cold here, around 50ish today, but not when you're chopping and carrying wood. It'll warm you right up. We were two hot lesbians, today.

Trust me, it sounds a lot more romantic and Little House on the Prairie-ish than it really is.

Step 1: Know your hardwoods. (insert lesbian joke here)
Step 2: Have a girlfriend with a chainsaw. Done.
Step 3: Spend all afternoon physically working your ass off carrying the logs that she saws back to the truck without killing yourself by stumbling over all of the limbs that are on the ground trying to trip you.

I'm so exhausted at 7:23pm that my arms are shaking as I'm typing. I think I'll head to bed and pray that I can move tomorrow.

I'll let you know if these cracklin', real wood fires start any flames on the couch! But first, we'll both have to recover.

47 comments:

Kim said...

Okay, so you and I have been writing privately for a while now and I've been silently lurking on your blog but will now post for the first time...I totally get that exhausted rubber arms feeling of cutting/stacking wood! I grew up using wood heat but have been out of practice for many years. Darryl and I stacked wood last Wednesday and I was fearful that Thursday I'd wake up and not be able to move! But it wasn't too bad. I mean, I felt it...that's for sure, but I survived it...and if you're reading it, that means you made it out of bed, right?

And there really is nothing quite like wood heat. I really miss it!

Great picture, by the way!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

We did the same chores all weekend since it was pretty nice out. I'm with Kim there is nothing like that cozy feeling of a nice warm wood fire. I just wish I could get someone else to do the lumber jack work. I think a massage should be mandatory after such activities.

doggybloggy said...

hey good hard work is good for you and now you can appreciate those crackling fires - I mean it is 50 and all...when it warms up to 50 here we put our flip flops on...

Dr Zibbs said...

Nothing beats a great fire.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

For ten years me and the missus lived in woods of New Hampshire and used our wood stove for all our heat.
NOW I can flick a thermostat and some gas monster in the basement blasts away. But NOT fun and romantic like a fire, although if I had a fireplace now? YES, it would be fake logs and a little switch....my back wouldn't let me have a wood stove again.

Jay said...

Nothing wrong with a couple of hot lesbians!

But, next time you might look into renting a log splitter.

http://www.logsplitter.com/

SkylersDad said...

Ah yes, we did that a lot growing up with 2 fireplaces up in the mountains. Lots of swinging an axe in my background, but I never got great lumberjack arms! Whats up with that? I still have skinny arms, no guns is no fun...

Chanda (aka Bea) said...

Now we know why the pioneers went to bed so freekin' early. They were exhausted. I hope things warm up - both literally and figuratively. :)

Karen said...

How about the running outside in the snowy middle of night to get the firewood. That is fun stuff too...

freakazojd said...

Wait, you need the fireplace to heat your house, or is it just a "fun" fireplace?
I LOVE that photo of you two. Beautiful!! :)

Lu' said...

First off, the picture, nice very nice. Talk to some fireplace folk, I'm sure there are some tricks to making it more effecient. We have one and have lived her since '94, never used it. Hubby says they are dirty, Oh friggi well :)

Dana said...

I'm getting a little stuck on lesbians and hardwood. Must be my 12 year old humor kicking in!

Sabrae said...

Is that picture of you and your woman? If so how cute!!! And second.... yea I have a masculine type girl that wouldn't let me lift a finger if I tried to help with wood. So sorry can't relate. But the cuddling on the couch seems a good way to ignite that fire :)

elizabeth said...

I don't so much excel at anything camping. Unless they have a turn down service and little chocolates. LOL.

Ashleigh said...

I can only wish I had weather cold enough to warrant a fireplace much less free firewood down here in Florida! ha. ha.

Sigh..I miss the seasons.

Ashleigh said...

cute pic by the way!

Grant said...

I wish I had a girlfriend with a chainsaw. Preferably Japanese.

Real wood fires aren't very efficient for heating. If the ambiance makes it worthwhile, go for it. Otherwise I say just shut the flue and turn on the heat. By which I mean have sex.

Scarlet said...

If only I could have a fireplace and have a need to use it. You look cozy in that pic...or should I say HOT and cozy?

I hope you enjoy your wood! lol

~Deb said...

Haha! I chuckled at this. I grew up with fireplaces and my dad was always cutting wood because he got it off his construction jobs.

Anyway, now that my new apartment has a fireplace, I get those 5 hour burning compressed logs that need no maintenance, but in the winter, I usually get massive amounts from my dad.

This year, while he was splitting the wood outside in his backyard, a HUGE MASSIVE AMOUNT of termites came out of nowhere!!! They were ALL OVER THE WOOD! I kid you not. And, they looked like little ants with wings.

He says, "Ah, don't worry 'bout it, they don't stay on dare'..."

No. I can't.

So, moral of my lame story is: make sure you know the source of where you get your wood because it can mean living in a strong house or a house that has been eaten by a buncha' little flying ants.

Keep warm.


(Now that I've scared the bloody hell outa' ya!)

Sorry!

Jess said...

As I always say when I have fixed a door knob or replaced my motorcycle battery - you have now done your dykely duties for the day...go and get some rest!

I am glad you get all cute to go and cut firewood! LOL!

bonnie said...

I'd go with the wood splitter. Good tool, easy going. But splitting it yourself is good exercise. There is NOTHING like burning good wood. I have a fireplace and a wood stove and I want another one. It is the cosiest wonderful comfort food in life. Enjoy.

bonnie said...

Precious.... I feel left out. Could I be one of your addictions?
xoxo
Bon

blueeyedtawni said...

when you all recover have a bottle of wine set out to refresh you two as you both enjoy the warm fire :)
hugs!

Beth said...

I know real fireplaces take ALOT of work, but gawd they're so nice!!! wish I had one...I'd even do all that work...

and I gotta say it...YOU ARE SO DAMN CUTE!!! i lovelovelove the dimples!!!

Akelamalu said...

Love the photo! Hope the fire was worth all the effort. :)

Slyde said...

damn you!


do you know how fast i clicked my mouse when i read the title of this post?

i almost broke my finger! you should really be more careful with that hot lez action stuff...

tt said...

We have what i lovingly refer to as 'IOH'...Instant On Heat. Yea, I flip that cute little switch and SWOOSH....on goes my gas fireplace!!! Love it!!
funny story there...I could picture it and your little stumbles...:)
That picture is soooo cute too. Those dimples are to die for!
Cheers to the 'recovery' !

Ryan said...

Next time you should invite a karate class to come chop wood for you with their deadly fists.

Micky-T said...

Nothing beats a warm glow in the living room. Enjoy!

A Rumford style fireplace, skinny and tall is the most efficient, while deep and short is the least.

Bond said...

Fire on The Couch??!! I hope not...you know how I feel about COUCHES!

Biscuit said...

Luckily, my husband is a modern day lumberjack. We had a massive tree cut down a couple of months ago, and it has resulted in enough fire wood for the whole winter. And that's a lot of wood, 'cause we have fires every day.

Fortune Cookies said...

choppin wood isexhausting. Wifester and I use those duraflame logs, and I recently found some that are recycled, and nontoxic. But free sure is better! Make that woman of yours give you a nice massage in front of that fire :)

Vodka Mom said...

I LOVE how I feel after really working hard! However, it sorta kills to romance when you're too damn tired to DO anything!

HA

Rage said...

a) You are beautiful
b) That is a sweet picture

c) We have a gas fireplace in our house but can't run it because it's so expensive. If we ever move we are going to try the wood fireplace thing instead.

Rage + wood = good thing :)

Rikki said...

Oh my, you should come to my neck of the woods. I just finished all my canning (wild berry jam, tomatoes, salsa, peach jam, etc) in the nick of time to help stack the seven cords that will get us through the winter (screw you, PennElec!).

A couple of hot lesbians (such as yourselves) WITH a chainsaw would have made it all so much more ... interesting.

~Jobthingy~ said...

oh we love free wood.. even with all the work it takes to get it. we collect it for summer camping. then we dont have to pay thru the nose at the camp sites.

you 2 are adorable. i love that pic:)

Jormengrund said...

Now you're starting to make me nostalgic!

I used to cut between 3-4 cords of wood a day for my uncle during the winter, and to be honest, I kind of miss the routine at times.

I'd have the radio blaring, the wedge and axe handy, and I'd split it all.

Chainsaw? You honestly got off easy by using a CHAINSAW?

I'm depressed. You should really try splitting it all by hand, and then stack it nice and neatly in corded piles.. That'll really make you sleep well at night, I can tell you!

we_be_toys said...

Great picture of the two of you! Thinking of having to chop wood is one of those moments where I am lazily, slothfully happy even,to have a pair of masculine arms to do the work for me. It's not emancipated at all, but my arms don't hurt!
(Thinking I would get my ass kicked in an arm wrestle about now...!)

Vixen said...

I feel your pain!!! I grew up in a house with it's only heat source being our wood burning stove. And then the first house I bought was the same (you'd think I'd have learned, lol!). I have way more experience with splitting and hauling wood then I care to think about.

That said....I love a good fire and how toasty it can make a house feel. :)

Craze said...

I'm with you.. I like the kind of fireplace you can control with a knob on the wall!

dguzman said...

What a cute photo!

True fires are made with wood, baby. No gas! Good luck NOT burning the place down!

Tiggerlane said...

That is a GREAT photo!

Funny, when we were building our house, our contractor asked about the fireplace. He wanted to make sure we wanted a gas log or awood-burning fireplace. I thought wood-burning would be romantic. He asked my husband what he did all winter - which hubby answered, "Hauled firewood." Contractor looked at me, and said, "Sounds like you are getting gas logs."

NOW, I get it!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Oh sweetie, does it ssnow there? It doesn't snow here and when we put the fireplace on t's a turn of the write and tad-da! Fireplace is going.

I used to have a real fireplace and it wasn't so bacd. I liked it and mostly because we didn;t have it on that often. How manay really cold day sdo we get in Southern califirnia? Not many.

I know what you mean about it being a work out...I was at a cabin in the snow for a week and it was our only heat...Hello! Are you nuts...BRRRRR. It wasn't all bad...it just meant we stayed in bed lots more. woo!
Ciao babe.

Anndi said...

Shaking arms... had that a couple of weekends ago when I redid the dining room floor...

Mrs. G. said...

"Know your hardwoods. (insert lesbian joke here)" Snort.

I think this holds true for straight women too!

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

I find chopping wood romantic for all of about 20 minutes, or until I break a nail, whichever comes first.

Monogram Queen said...

You crack me up with your sense of humor!
We had a fireplace when we lived out in Plum Nearly and I actually learned how to start a fire on my own. It's a talent!
Fires are soooo romantic! Enjoy!