Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Having A Cooter Is Great....



Last night, I had the *strangest* dream. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with my right leg up on the counter...and I had BALLS! They just dangled back there. The odd thing is that I wasn't shocked by them. I just thought they were a tad long. Always the critic about my own body.

That dream started me thinking....I'm so glad I finally grew some balls. In the past, I've let people run over me in an effort to be "nice." Now, I quit talking to the assholes that try to run over me. If you screw me over or use me, I refuse hang out with you. If you pull the mean girl crap, I'll cut you loose.

I don't stress about culling the asshats out of my life. I did at first. But now, I'm glad they're gone.


I'm glad I have a cooter, but honestly, I'm so glad I finally have some balls!

33 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

That comment is dead on

SkylersDad said...

In an odd juxtaposition, most guys dream about cooters! Not having one on them, but more along the lines of being in one.

Later in today's news, the sky is blue, and bears shit in the woods!

Fortune Cookies said...

GIRL! Do I ever need some lessons from you on how to grow a set of those!

Biscuit said...

I needs me some of those. I am far too afraid of hurting someone's feelings, and would rather err on the side of caution, and hurting myself, than take the chance that I have misread things.

Jormengrund said...

I second SkylersDad on this one..

Coming from a male perspective, there are quite a few times where we'd NEVER admit to having a dream about balls, and we'd make up some story about cooter!

Along those same lines, there are plenty of females who can get away with dreaming about either, and are HOT when they talk about it..

What a vicious cycle..

Craze said...

It took me a long time to grow a set of balls but thankfully it is not literal. Crazy dream girl!

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

}:O

oh my

Ashleigh said...

Whoa!

Rage Angel said...

Can I take a pill for that? No? Okay, can I borrow your balls?

Scarlet said...

Cooters are cuter than balls anyway. I love the cartoon!

Dana said...

My balls are just budding, but I can feel their strength already! Do you have ball growing secrets you'd like to share??

Nolens Volens said...

RLL, that's an oxymoron in action. ;) Also for Dana - just brass 'em and everyone WILL KNOW. Hehe!

Mind of MadMan said...

Growing some balls...
I like it!!!

Laura said...

yeah, Im still somewhat of a "door matt" at times...

But Im working on it.

Akelamalu said...

Once people realise you have balls they don't mess with you anymore - I learned from experience. :)

Lu' said...

HA! good post. Happy Thanksgiving. My guess is you are giving thanks for your balls :)

mackey said...

lol
I am almost 40.....I have my balls now. I found them a few months ago.
Sure wish I would have found them sooner:)

Queen-Size funny bone said...

as long as i can tuck them away until i need them.

meno said...

Freud would have a field day with this!

I prefer to call it tits, as in, "Grow some tits and get it done!"

Karen said...

How funny. I love that dream.

thePATHeyeCHOOSE said...

Too Funny! Thanks for the chuckle.. : )

Recovering Grady Addict said...

Yeah, about growing balls... I too had spent faaarrrr too long kissing ass and being overly kind to avoid conflict and drama. Unt-uhh! No Mas.

After this weekend's experience with a snotty ass, rude and ill mannered, psycho-beeotch from FL who came up with the lady who bought my motorcycle... my balls and my verbage weren't the only weapon I'da like to have had. Ugghh! I would have loved to knocked her teeth out with a lead pipe.

I bit my tongue during the sale. Ole girl had already hit a raw nerve by getting out of the car cursing us (my MOM included), with numerous F-Bombs because we were late. Hell, both parties were late. The buyer was a tad but nicer, certainly had more TACT.

But the buyer had the audacity... THE AUDACITY to send me a snotty e-mail the next night, because of the inconvenience of CHOOSING to get a hotel and not driving home in the dark.

TAH-DAH INSTANT BALLS!!!
Three hours later I was pleased with my well worded response and sent it back. Yeah... haven't heard from her (or her cracked out buddy) since.

Brad said...

You've always seemed pretty ballsey to me!

Hope you both have a great hloiday!

Micky-T said...

The picture is so funny. I always liked the one with two little kids by a tub and the boy says to the girl, "No you can't touch it, you already broke yours off"
Have a great holiday you guys!

Vodka Mom said...

FIRST, I LOVe that Goddamn picture. Second, I love that you have balls. I have recently (like in the last year or so) decided that there is no more bullshit. I will tell it like it is.

you go girl.

Vodka Mom said...

i think teenagers are a great fertilizer in the "growing balls" department. for sure.

Jessica said...

Recently, I grew a pair myself, and I'm much happier, and more confident! :)

Diane J Standiford said...

Good for you. You are a person, a force, not a doormat.

Scarlet said...

Happy Thanksgiving!! Btw, you're one of the winners. (Check my blog when you have a min.)

nitebyrd said...

Actually, girly balls are way better than the guy kind. Their figurative balls and will never sag, hitting the water in the toilet. I'm hoping your dream means you've found your girly balls!

Gene Bach said...

Hey, if you had balls then you had more than most of the politicians in the country. LOL!

CheekyMonkey said...

That is perfect. I grew a set too. Sometimes you just need one complete jackass to help you grow a set. Or a good friend. Whichever. Glad you have a set now!

a pot, a thought & a smidgen of dirt said...

LOL your dreams are as bad as mine!! Just found your blog and am loving it. Fiona