Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Does This Snow Make My Ass Look Big?



We're headed up to Michigan for Christmas to hang out with the inlaws. My girl just told me that she wants to go skiing. Cool! I've never been skiing!

And then I realize...she was on the Ski Team in High School. I took piano lessons.

I'm sure you can imagine the disparity in our athletic prowess. I was managing to not fall off of my piano stool, while she whizzed down the black runs.

She's tall, thin and athletic. Always has been. I'm short, wide and clumsy.

Perhaps I should just look cute while drinking Hot Cocoas in the Lodge?

50 comments:

HappyHourSue said...

Definately. Cute glasses, cute headband, cute apres-ski boots. The "new skiier on the bunny slope" look just really doesn't work for anybody.

But have fun!

Vodka Mom said...

I LOVE the title of your post!!! And yeah, just look damn good while drinking that hot cocoa. That'll do it.

Grant said...

How hard can skiing be? The gravity does most of the work.

Christie said...

I don't understand skiing, to be honest. You barrel down a hill with flat sticks tied to your feet while you dodge trees and large bumps. Sounds like hell on earth to me.

I do like the outfits though, and the thought of coming in to lounge by the fire while drinking hot cocoa.

Brad said...

I tried it once. Never again. It's cold out there. If your looking for me I'll be in the ledge by the fire with a drink.

SkylersDad said...

Hey, give it a try! I love it. But of course, it's kind of a state law here in Colorado...

Laurel said...

I have the same problem with my gf...she even worked at a ski lodge for years! I sit in the lodge, drinking hot chocolate and read a good book. I let her go out and have her fun. As long as she buys me an expensive dinner afterwards...I don't care. LOL

Ashleigh said...

I've never been skiing either so let me know how it goes. I'd try it and laugh at myself off each time I fall.

p.s. I can totally see you being a cute bundled up snowbunny sitting by a fire place with your hot cocoas. ha. ha.

Heinous said...

Fun is fun no matter where you have it.

~Jobthingy~ said...

im canadian and i have never skied either.

i would be the one in the chalet..

g-man said...

I think if you stick to the bunny slope (It is just me or does that sound vaguely dirty?) you will be ok. :)

I bet you will rock the lodge with your cocoa!!

Queen-Size funny bone said...

you gotta give it a try. maybe you could go snow tubing instead. its closer to the ground,

Jay said...

I've never been skiing either. We actually used to have a ski slope here. Believe it or not! It was fake snow though and I never went.

I'd probably hurt my self. LOL

But, give it a shot. I think it would actually be fun!

Karen said...

I am super clumsy and not in any sort of athletic shape....and skiing is the one sport that I can do easily and gracefully.

It is so fun.

Possibly Moving Mom said...

Lived in Colorado for nearly a decade. Skied once. Had to be carried down the mountain. It wasn't pretty. I'm wide and I play the piano.

Cocoa, fire, book, cute outfit -- I'm all about that.

Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

cocoa with a shot or two of bourbon is very healthful

Slyde said...

looking cute at the lodge has always worked for me. work it!

Lu' said...

I'm sure she will be happy to have you warm her up when she gets off the slopes. I don't care for snow skiing except cross country skiing.

Scarlet said...

I took piano lessons, too...and I have yet to downhill ski. Do it and if you survive, I'll try it. ;)

I'll play "She'll be coming 'round the mountain" on the piano for you in a vlog if you do it!

Nolens Volens said...

Yes. 'Nuf sed. LOL

Fu Manchu Dad said...

Don't much care for snow or anything you do in it, but you go on and give it a shot. Your girl will be thrilled to teach you. I'd bet you learn faster than you think. I wouldn't miss a minute with anything my lady enjoyed doing if I had the chance. EVEN if it was in the snow.
FMD

The Mistress of the Dark said...

If it were me, I'd be doing the hot cocoas in the lodge, lest I end up in the ER!!!

Anndi said...

I used to downhill ski, but I hurt my ankle (walking down some stairs - yeah, I'm graceful that way) and it lost the strength needed to allow me to stay on course and avoid landing up a tree with a squirrel down my pants.

Chalet all the way, babeeeeee!

CrystalChick said...

I'm all for the cocoa at the Lodge. :)

Hub and I are celebrating our 25th anniversary with a trip to Cancun later this month. He's got some crazy idea that I'll be ziplining thru the jungle to some swimming hole where a few Mexicans will desperately try to keep my fat ass steady on the ropes as we're lowered into a cave. After all these years you'de think he'd have noticed I've gotten bigger and get ouchies alot easier.
This should be fun.....

Biscuit said...

I will keep you company with your cocoa while your love plummets down the mountain at high velocity. *shudder*

Anything that requires me to step outside of my *space* is dangerous. I can't even do step aerobics without hurting myself or someone else.

Jess said...

The lodge...yes, that is my idea of skiing right there! As a matter of fact, went to Colorado earlier this year and if you wanted to find me and my friend Miller Lite, we were at the top of the mountain chillin in a lawn chair watching all the crazy people throw themselves down the mountain on pieces of plywood. I love skiing!

Ve said...

My ex boyfriend skies and he said that you should bend your knees to absorb the shock . . .

This is also what he told me the first time I attempted to give him a bj . . .

So take that advice with a grain of salt.

buffalodick said...

I go to deer camp for cards, food and booze... Never leave the lodge..

Jormengrund said...

Ya gotta at least TRY!

I mean, one of the most romantic dates that the wife and I had was going skiing..

Something about them wanting to teach, and getting all tangled up with arms, legs.. Tumbling through the soft powdered snow..

Then warming up later in the hot tub at the lodge was even more fun as well!

Like I said.. Ya gotta at least try.. Once is enough, but the attempt might be something you'll remember for a lifetime..

Micky-T said...

Don't you dare....not try skiing!

I mean that, don't even think about not laughing your ass off and being thrilled to the bone with fun in the snow.
Even if your lousy, it's so much fun!

Kate said...

Yes, you should look cute while sipping hot cocoa - and even ocassionally flirt with your girl..
that'll stop her skiing real fast, I'm sure! ha ha ha

~Deb said...

I'm totally relating to ya! I'm bad enough on my own two feet on solid grown, let alone ski. God forbid!

I'll stay with ya at the lodge, as long as they provide Baily's in my hot cocoa! :D

CheekyMonkey said...

Pfft, get your ass a cute little snowbunny outfit and sit there at the lodge like you just went skiing..

(Unless you're feeling really adventurous, you could take lessons. I dont think the mountains in MI are that big!)

Either way, I'm sure you could rock some snow pants and jacket!

CheekyMonkey said...

But if you do take lessons, don't take them from your girl... if there's one thing I learned, it's that having a loved one try to teach you to ski, not such a good idea. :)

Burfica said...

I would be doing the cocoa lodge thing. I've seen many a family member and friend with ski injuries, or tales of their exploits. I don't like the snow at all, so my idea of hurteling myself down a mountain of it, is not fun at all.

Bina said...

Thanks for reminding me to NEVER go skiing with a professional.

I've never been either. I would much rather sit with you, looking cute, and drinking Hot Cocoas, with a little added spice of course!

ambergail77 said...

I guess you could try, but when it is too cold and your body hurts from all the learning you can always add a little peppermint schnapps to ypur cocoa.

Akelamalu said...

Just go for the apres ski and looking gorgeous - I'm sure you'll do both beautifully! :)

Lauren said...

Start working your legs out now. TRUST ME. (I'm from Colorado and gravity DOES NOT do most of the work when you are a first-time or a newbie). If not, you will be in bed for a good two days before you can walk or move again feasibly.

I swear.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Oh sweetheart...you are always cute, drinking hot cocoas or picking your up from a fall in the snow...you are always a cutie.

ciao honey.

Southern Sage said...

well it sounds like a fun trip!
don't sweat it snow is soft!!

Beth said...

I say forget the cold ass snow...sit in the lodge looking cute!!!

Sabrae said...

Definatly sit in the lodge! LOL! You should stop by and say hi on your way to Michigan :) I'm in Ohio afterall!!! LOL!!!!!

Fortune Cookies said...

my vote is that you chill in the lodge with canvas and easel in tow, and paint some of those beautiful snow-scapes! Pretty sure you can get some spiced rum apple cider in there too :)

Tiggerlane said...

OMG...well, I thought the only reason to go skiing WAS to look cute in the lodge, and drink lots of adult beverages! I, too, was a pianist...and I'm doing well to walk a straight line. I would be mortified. However, I hear it's easy to ski if you are short and squatty.

random moments said...

You could suddenly get a cramp in your leg the night before? Or... not realize until the last minute that you have an extreme fear of snow? Don't like heights? Get motion sickness? Against your religion?

Good luck hun. We'll be praying for ya!

Ginni said...

I x-country ski and love it, even have my own gear, but I DON'T do gravity!!! I even take my x-country skis off to go down hills, and I mostly do that on my butt!! I might as well, I'll end up there anyway.

KellyKline said...

Okay ... now, I'm not dyslexic. I swear.

But when I read the title of this post, I giggled because I thought it said, "Does my ass make this snow look big?"

Uh-oh ... don't smack me!

freakazojd said...

AH ha ha...that is so my husband and I, too. He went skiing, I was parked on a piano bench. I COMPLETELY understand any trepidation you may or may not be feeling and I COMPLETELY empathize!! Good luck! (P.S. There is NO shame in being a snow bunny.) :)

Ann said...

I'm not big on skiing...I'll hang w/ you in the chalet where we can be cute snow bunnies. :)