Friday, May 30, 2008

Sometimes, I Forget


Sometimes I forget how deeply I am loved.

By my girlfriend.
By my mother.
By my father.
By my aunts, uncles and cousins.
By this universe that I live in.
By my friends.
By people that I've not even met.

I forgot once before. It ended with me trying to take my life. And began with everyone telling me how much they loved me. I know how important it is to know that you are loved. Not in the everyday way that we say, 'I love you." But in a deeper way. A way that you would know that I love you down deep into your soul. No matter what you do. No matter what you look like right now. No matter how you feel. No matter what.

I love all of you so much, but I never think that you love me the same way. But today, I think you do. I guess I'm in one of those moods that my girlfriend hates. The mood where I end up telling friends that I love them with tears in my eyes at a party after not enough wine.

I know that we won't always be here. Together. So that we can tell each other.

So today, know that I love you. Just the way you are.

20 comments:

Spiky Zora Jones said...

I LOVE YOU...yes I do.
:D

Lu' said...

People intimidate me, hurt me and make me hate. But there are some nice folks out here aren't there. I think you are terrific.

Dana said...

RLL, please don't ever doubt that I love you - and if you knew how hard that was for me to type, you'd know how much your presence in my life means to me. No, we've never met, but you have given to my soul. Yes, you have!

Melissa said...

Bookmark this post in case you ever doubt it.

Melissa xoxox

Brad said...

I'm new here - I think we've only traded a comment or two. But I can tell you that I love you because I love your writing and that's part of you. I can tell you I love you as a gay sister, because I do. I can tell you that I love you as another human being. I can love you now and learn you later - I'm easy, I just love people. XO Brad

tt said...

brad is right on!!! How powerful that statement of " I can love you now and learn you later". ( note to self--remember this!!)
I get into that same boat from time to time. When I 'find' my oars, I tell people how much they mean to me.
You, my lipstick friend...are loved...deeply!

Em said...

Very sweet. That's a good way to feel. :-)

Raven said...

Awwww...I have tears in my eyes...Love you to!!

Jay said...

I've loved you from the first day we met here in the blogosphere.

Blissfully Wed said...

I love and respect you so much. Your good heart really comes through in your posts.

Have a nice weekend.

Kate said...

I'm not naive enough to think that the world's problems would be solved by more love.

However, I try to love people as much as I can, because there isn't enough love in the world.

Sassy Mama Bear said...

Keep this in a special place so when you need it you can look at it.
Love ya darling!

Fu Manchu Dad said...

You'll find nothing but love coming from this straight married dad of many. I hope you'll embrace all this love for what it is and feel better. We here in blogworld just love the shit out of ya!
On a side note, for some reason our internet security is allowing many more photos through than they did before. I re-visited your trip to South America and it was a whole new experience! I truly missed some great pics the first time through.
Take care of yourself sweetheart, have fun going through the ins and outs of moving in with your old lady. Things are gonna be great. I know it. I'm always right, you know. Always.

FMD

Leighann said...

Do you have any idea how awesome you are? I doubt that you know so I'm here to tell you, you're awesome!

I'm not a people person, but I dig you lots!

xoxo

elizabeth said...

Here comes the love right back atcha - what a nice post. Very deeply touching.

buffalodickdy said...

It's sort of magic if you can feel that way- not everybody can do that, you know...

Anndi said...

You just made me feel warm and fuzzy.

Love you too babe! Lots!

doggybloggy said...

love is everywhere and you dont even have to look for it, it finds you.

Odat said...

I'm singing the Beatles song "All you Need Is Love" now.
Sweet post!
Peace and love,
Odat....

Kimmie said...

I can see that you are a very easy person to love and care about. I don't know you yet, but what I have read here today has made me see a very beautiful women with a very loving heart.
Hugs,
Kimmie