EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!

When I arrived home yesterday, My Love was visibly shaken and had emptied her entire stash of BBs on this monster! She and a friend had killed her just moments before I arrived.

Sadly, she's a good snake. But nobody stopped to ask her before loading the BB gun.

How in the HELL did they kill this thing with BBs???

Out Of Sorts

That's what I've been this week. Why? Because I have a new sofa.

Trust me, I know exactly how odd that sounds. I haven't even wanted to tell anyone, because it just sounds nuts. Even to me.

Let me back up. I'm throwing my parents a 50th Anniversary party this fall. Big deal. Probably around 100 people. IN MY BACKYARD. So, I was already stressed. Then last Friday, my mother says, "I was wondering what you're doing this weekend? Do you have any time to go on a little trip?"

I thought she wanted to *go* somewhere.

No. She wanted to go sofa shopping for me. Off we went, Saturday morning to a couple of stores. Found nothing. Then my love and I went Saturday afternoon, and I saw one I liked, but it was probably too big for the room.

Monday, all three of us went. All day. All over creation. I finally wound up back at the place that I'd found on Saturday afternoon and we bought that sectional.

Then the buyers remorse set in. I really like my old sofa, but my mother doesn't. She wanted me to have a "nice" sofa for the party. Let me translate that for you...she was embarrassed by my four year old leather sofa.

That's what I've been doing all week. Fretting over a sofa. Who knew you could get so attached to an old couch?

I am officially feeling crazy, spoiled and unappreciative.

Happy Memorial Day!

Thanks to all who have served and are serving! I appreciate you.

Why Would You Even Do That?

When I searched for an image to go with this post, "image" brought up nothing.
But "sexy image" brought up this one first. So, I just *had* to share.

Another story from the softball game....

I'm sitting behind a group of women. One is obviously in the process of being dumped by her long time girlfriend and is talking about the "other woman."

Dumpee: This "Heather" is straight, has a family, is a drunk and blogs about all of it.

Friend1: Just what a codependent needs, a drunk!

Dumpee: Exactly, and what type of person has the need to spread out all of their life for other people to read about?


I sat there quietly thinking how judgmental they are. I didn't say anything. Instead, I let their actions show me what kind of people they are.

Would you have said anything?

Wonder what they'd think if they knew I blogged about them?

Come On Out

One of our neighbors in the business center stops by to chat just about every day. He hangs out with the guys and talks fishing, hunting and bullshit. He's a really nice guy and I enjoy talking to him, too.

Today's conversation:

Al: Do you have any dogs?

Jim: Yeah, we have had several golden retrievers. Bud was "my dog." He went everywhere with me. Wasn't afraid of anything. Loved everyone....except other dogs. We were friends with these two lesbians that lived down the street from us that had a rottweiler that Bud hated...


DEAFENING SILENCE



The kind of silence that seems to last a lifetime.



It seemed to just hang there. That word.


Lesbian.


Because although everyone here at the family business *knows* that I'm a lesbian, no one says the word or talks about it. And that's fine with me. We don't talk about their sexuality either.

Shortly after the eternal silence, Jim was leaving and I was going to walk up to his office to have his wife notarize something for me. Halfway to his office....

Me: Jim, the reason everyone's eyes got big and everyone went silent is because I'm a lesbian.

Jim: Oh, okay. I'm sorry, I hope you weren't offended. I work with so many people in the design industry that it's commonplace. I certainly don't have anything against it.

Me: Not a problem. I'm not easily offended. I just thought you should know why everyone acted like they did.

It's been a very long time since I came out to someone. I just think that it's kind of dishonest if I don't. Not to them....to me. And I never again want to be dishonest with myself. Does that make sense?

Saturday In The Yard

We started out with a bed of very tired pansies and leftover tulip foliage.



We planted some baskets.



Trace enjoys sitting by the Rex Begonias.



Took a little time to hunt for four leaf clovers.



Mr. Handsome poses in front of the wicker chairs on the Sunset Porch.



We noticed a patch of daisies in the field beside our house and walked over to enjoy them.

What did you do with your Saturday?

Sometimes, I Just Have To Ask

Who the hell are all of you people that come 'round here?

Some of you, I know. Some of you, I know *quite* well! Others leave comments, but don't have an email attached to them, so I don't get to write back to them when they comment. Others, I read their blogs, but my old mac won't let me comment...like Namaste by Day. Love her and many others, but they may never know.

But the biggest group are those of you who don't say diddly!

Take a second and say hello. Leave a comment. Type in some randomness. Tell me what damn fine taste I have in women! Just say somethin'!

Labelling

Last night, at a softball game I inquired of the woman next to me, "Is that Soandsos girlfriend?"

"I try not to put labels on other people's relationships."

In my head:
Really? So, if I'd asked you if that was a straight woman's husband, you would have said the same thing? I doubt it.

She'd have to be seriously PC to have done that. That right there is the kind of double standard crap that I don't like.

That's when great terms like fuck buddy totally lose their place in our lexicon. I just won't have it.

Sometimes We Just Don't Click

It's rare, but it happens.

I wouldn't have gotten all upset in a face-to-face or in a phone conversation. I would have heard the love in her voice. But we were texting. The worst possible type of conversation.

It ended with her texting:

Just settle the fuck down!!!

See, that's why I love her so much. She knows exactly when to tell me to settle down in that Yankee way that doesn't piss me off. Instead it makes me think, "Hmmm, maybe I need to settle down."

That's why I'll never let her go. She's exactly what I need.

Tell Me Something Good

All of this rain has me in a funk. We've had nothing but rain for the last two weeks. Frankly, I'm ready for a little sunshine.

So, I ask you kindly.....tell me something good.

Tell me a joke.
Tell me about something great that has happened to you recently.
Tell me a funny story.
Tell me something good.

Here's a little Winnie the Pooh Rainbow hug to get you started. ;)

Can You Keep A Secret?

I recently found out that someone that I know cheated on their girlfriend. Now they're married and have been for 30-something years. The wife still wonders if he will cheat again. Is still jealous.

I waffle on whether I'd want to know if the love of my life cheated on me. Would it be better to not know? Or would I want to know the truth and see if we could work through it?

I am such a fence-sitter on this one.

Would you want to know? Or would you rather be blissfully ignorant?

Could you keep it a secret if you cheated...to spare the other person? Or would you blurt it out to get it off of your chest?

Fear and Love

Samantha works in the same office complex and just stopped by to pay her rent.

"If you'd ever stop in to see me, I wouldn't have to come down here and bother you at work!" We chatted for about 45 minutes about everything under the sun.

It was like a ton of bricks landed on my head. Oh. She really wants to hang out with me. Most of the time, I think people are just trying to be nice.

I always think that everyone else has plenty of friends. They're busy. Doing cool stuff.

This time, I'm going to make a good effort. Not let fear take over and let it go.

I just told her to call me and let me know which afternoon this week is good for us to spend some time together. She could use a little help with her business and offered me some free services in exchange. But honestly, I think she just wants to be friends.

I'll let you know how it goes. You can never have too many friends. And I really like her.

I'm Gonna Put My Pinkie In Your....

"No you're not."

"Then I'll put it in mine."

"It's not possible."

"Sure it is." *thinks about that*

"Can I watch?"

You know how that always ends up.

I'm A Nervous Wreck

Today, I started using online banking for the business. Like I just transferred $43,218.00. I'm not sure what worries me more... that I could screw it up or that people like my ex-boss the bank robber are out there trying to find ways to take my money.

Now, I'm not *such* a dinosaur that I don't use online banking. I do for my little personal pittance. But now, I'm playing with other people' money and LOTS of it! I'm in the big leagues.

There will definitely be wine on the porch this afternoon. Lots of wine. I'm considering drinking my dinner at this point.