Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Can You Do The Can-Can?

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Another guest post by Dana


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You know what the problem is with sandwiches? They're too hard to transport. What they need to do is invent specially-sized bags to tote them around in. Oh they've got those? Then maybe a hard plastic, airtight container shaped like a sandwich that will keep them fresh and squish-proof! No way! They've got those too?? Where the hell have I been??

Well, we all know that everything is better if it’s made with bacon, is bite-sized or is put in a can, right? I know! Let's put a sandwich in a can! That way that can of Rock-Star won't flatten your sandwich when you put it in your Bobby Sherman lunchbox!


That's right! It's better than Vienna Sausages! It's a Candwich! You can choose between PBJ Strawberry, PBJ Grape and - if you are really adventurous - BBQ Chicken Candwiches.

Unfortunately, A lawsuit by the federal Securities and Exchange Commission says that Travis L. Wrightt promised returns of up to 24 percent on real estate investments, but put the money instead into Candwich development and other equally untried ideas.

The good news? According to the New York Times, the Candwich concept perseveres. "The president of Mark One Foods, Mark Kirkland, who said he patented the idea of putting solid food in a beverage container with the slogan, “Quick & Tasty, Ready to Eat,” said Mr. Wright promised full financial backing for Candwich production that never really materialized even as investors did. He said he believed that canned sandwiches would ultimately sell, and hoped to go into production later this year."

Okay, full disclosure: I actually, probably, most likely would definitely buy these. Not to actually eat, but to stock my bomb shelter shelves. Really!

What about you? Can you see a place for the Candwich in your life??

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18 comments:

靜宸靜宸 said...

凡事三思而行,跑得太快是會滑倒的。..................................................

Matt-Man said...

I'll buy one if I see them. Hell, I bought a can of "Potted Meat Food Product" once for a reason... These things make great comedic conversation pieces. Cheers Dana!!

Gina said...

HELL NO.

That is all.

Lynette said...

As long as they have bacon on them....we all want bacon.

Dana said...

Matt-Man, see? I knew you'd be game for a Candwich! I bet the PBJ Grape would go well with Wild Irish Rose!

Gina, C'mon ... what could be better than shelf-stable bread in a can?

Lynette, You could always bring along a can of SPAM for the bacon effect!

Karen said...

As a gag gift? Absolutely! For actual consumption? No way!

Melissa said...

Yuck!

doggybloggy said...

YUCK - NEVER - these things are for people like you and matt-man -

Dana said...

Karen, not even on a dare??

Melissa, Oh Melissa, you probably don't like deviled ham either *wink*

doggybloggy, Ha! I'll take that as a compliment. Cheers! (typed in my best Matt-Man impression)

Jay said...

I've eaten some nasty stuff, but only when drunk and silly. Not sure I could stand to try a sandwich from a can.

I have tried an MRE that I bought at an Academy Sports once. It was okay, I guess. Not anything super great. But, better than Ramen Noodles. haha

Mike said...

I almost tried one of those before. I guess I should have taken it out of the can before I tried to microwave it.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I do not think I could buy and EAT one of those...are they really in bread and all?

one word comes to mind...YUK

Dana said...

Jay, I figure that if I can eat a ham & cheese omelet with a shelf life of 12 years (you gotta love MRE's) I can certainly eat a sandwich in a can!

Mike, only if you ever want to use your microwave again!

Vinny "Bond" Marini, my guess is that they use the same "shelf-stable" bread that we used to get with our MRE's. Think more dense than a brick. The good news? They sure do fill you up ... and up ... and up ...

J.J. said...

YUM! Not.

Nulaanne said...

ummm no! That is just wrong, and if anyone I know eats one I don't think I will ever talk to them again. Unless they eat it on a drunken dare.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Perfect for that guy 40 floors up working on a set of plans!

I'm lucky that I can make my own PB&J and eat it right here in the kitchen.

P.S. The Chinese person up there never gets responded to...whassup with that?

nitebyrd said...

No. I'm not a picky eater but a sandwich in a can!?! No way!

CheekyMonkey said...

Okay, so I thought that was the grossest thing evah. BUT, I was just reading on another forum, someone contacted the creator of the candwich. He said they'd be avail next month and they're working with this other site (adoptaussoldier.org) to "dropship" them right to our adopted soldiers. Now THAT is a great idea! I think my soldier would take a sandwich in ANY form!