Wednesday, July 30, 2008

She's A Size FOUR


Is a fitness model.

Works out with the same trainer that I do.

Has a six pack.

Yesterday, after an hour and a half in the gym, I'm mustering up the last ounce of energy I have left to do my ab work. Knowing that my abs will never be referred to in beer terms.

Claire walks up.

Her: "I want to ask your opinion about what's going on with my Playboy shoot."

Me: "Sure. What's up?"

Her: "Well, they've moved me from the Hot Housewives in the August issue to the Fresh Faces (as if) in the October issue. Why do YOU think they would do that?"

I blew some smoke up her ass about how they probably have too many Hot Housewives and not enough Fresh Faces.

How does the size 4, ripped chick have so little self esteem that she thinks she's suddenly not hot because PLAYBOY decided to put her in a different issue!?

I know the answer. It's her husband that keeps telling everyone (in her presence) that he's not "into blondes." There's no telling how he berates her when they are alone.

It's just so sad to see a Playboy Bunny question her own hotness.

22 comments:

coffeypot said...

My abs are referred to in beer terms. It's a KEG!

Ann said...

I swear, no matter what the size/type/color/etc. - no woman is happy with the model/make she was given.

Of course, when your living is made FROM your body (i.e. a Bunny), I guess that's a whole 'nother judgment stratosphere too...

Dana said...

I can't even imagine my name and Playboy being uttered in the same room ... unless it's my husband asking what I did with his latest issue.

It really is sad ...

Knight said...

Something tells me she will never have enough confidence to not question it. That's too bad.

Fortune Cookies said...

sad for sure, but how else does one get to the point where their only self worth comes from taking their clothes off for money? a very, very deficient self esteem that requires an inordinate amount of resurrecting and affirmation, even if it is via unhealthy methods. quite sad indeed.

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

you know a Playboy bunny? Don't you get some sort of Cosmic Karma points for that alone??

Dragonfly Dreaming said...

Size four? I think I wore that shoe size once.

Men just don't have a fucking clue sometimes. Either they are blind to appearances (God bless 'em) or think they know what a woman SHOULD look like (and base it on glossy centerfolds that have been airbrushed within an inch of their lives)....

I don't think I am gorgeous, but I've broken my share of hearts, enjoyed my cornucopia of lovers and been told I ooze sex from my pores. Playboy wouldn't look at me twice, but I'm alright with that.

I hope the bunny finds her true beauty and kicks the loser to the curb.

Lu' said...

Christ, my thigh is probably a size 4, just kidding, I think. My Sister's ex-husband was a master at the verbal chop you to pieces kind of spew. She is a wonderful woman and I'm am delighted she kicked him to the curb. Too bad she didn't drive over him too. Oh but wait, the size 4 gal, some of the prettiest women have the lowest self esteem. I think her husband does it so she wont leave him. That, and he is a dick :)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

oh...I've been to the playboy mansion. tell me who is this playboy bunny? I can't wait for October to see her. hehehe.

Oh they threw me out of the mansion once they discovered I was only a look alike and not the real...

duh, it as still fun hanging out in a bikini bottom with other girls in bikini bottoms and some without. Sigh, it was heaven. :P
Cioa babes. fab post.

Em said...

There are tons of hot women who are insecure about their looks... their identity becomes so wrapped up with how they look.

Brad said...

Sad really, just sad.

SkylersDad said...

Back when my buddies and I were running around without wives, we came up with a term we would use for women who had that special beauty that comes from being natural. We would dub them "raft trip". That was reserved for those women who looked good to us after 3 days on the river.

It was truly the highest praise we could give.

Jay said...

That so sad that so many hot chicks .. well so many women in general, are with such shitty dudes like that.

"that girl" said...

sheesh ... i'd give anything to be a size 4 again!

stupid men!!

The Daily Rant said...

My opinion? She wanted to bring to your NOT size 4 attention that she is actually being considered for a Playboy photo shoot.

Are you guys friends? Friends who share things going on in your lives? Is she someone YOU would go to advice for?

I'm thinking she just wanted to make it obvious that she is five times smaller than you, in essence, getting exactly what she wanted when she went fishing for a compliment.

Really - why would a person at the gym ask an almost complete stranger their opinion??

I think she was just being a bitch. And it seems to go without saying that her husband is a dick.

Lauren said...

That just goes to show you that even most people's idea of "perfection" is flawed, even if only in perception."

Sadly, most men would give their right nut and women their right boob, to simply touch a woman of that magnitude and her husband has to be a douche bag about the beauty at his side. Because, you know, being blonde really DOES define the quality of beauty. *scoff*

Asshole.

Anndi said...

I've always wondered what really motivates anyone to pose for Playboy...

Jess said...

It pretty much makes me want to kick her in the throat.

Beth said...

what an ass she's married to...and i know from experience. Believe me.

Freakazojd said...

Aw, I didn't read this one first...that's sad! I don't agree that she was trying to be a bitch and point out any size difference or anything. I know physically strong people with weak self worth. One does not go with the other.

KellyKline said...

I think that it's so easy for us to be torn to pieces by the one we love the most.

It's sad ...

Old Crone said...

Wow...that's really sad. Poor thing. I just found your blog from Brad'...nice blog.

Peace,

OC