4: Sunday, July 9th, 2006

I grew up in the Baptist church that was just down the street from our house. It was a place that I could be alone with my thoughts amidst plenty of people. Stay and talk if I wanted to, slip out the back if I didn't. We had a very relaxed preacher with a storytelling style that knew how to reach into my skull. I miss having someone...not preach to me, but lecture me a little. Make me think about things differently, more lovingly.

Sherri asked me a few days ago if I'd ever been to the "gay church." She's been wanting to go, but Lisa works on Sundays and she doesn't want to go alone. I had been to Nashville's "gay church" before with my ex, but she didn't like it there. She didn't like the preacher. They pray too much. My old friend that she thought drank too much attended there with her partner.

Not wanting to sit at home all day waiting for the phone to ring, I call Sherri to see if she wants to meet me and hop into the shower. I put on the cute shirt that I bought yesterday, swirls of blue and chartreuse, jeans that are getting too loose, sexy heels and head out.

Sherri arrives just after the music starts and we sit quietly through the sermon. Churches always make me sad. They remind me of the deaths in my family. Of my grandmother's wrinkled hands holding a tissue, reaching into her purse for a mint and then snapping it shut. Today, I need a tissue as emotions bubble to the surface and pop out of my eyes.

After church, we head to the mall where Lisa works to meet her for lunch. Lisa walks up, smiling from ear to ear and hugs me, "Has Mandy called you yet?"

"No...I'm wondering if my cell phone is broken!"

"Don't worry, rumor has it that she just broke up with her fiance. They were going to get married next month. Her ex sent her an email telling her that their wedding was off. That's it...an email. It hit her pretty hard."

I pick at my lunch, "Oh. That's really bad news for me, isn't it? Think they'll get back together?"

Pointing at me with a french fry, "Oh no, I think it's over. She's just hurt. It may take her some time to get back into the game. But it was obvious that she wanted you to be at the party!"

"Don't you worry, I'll be there." Off I drift, thinking of how she will be enamored of me at the party. She will start calling me just to say 'hi". She can't get enough of me.

"What do you want to bring?" Sherri snaps me out of my fantasy by reminding me that I would help her with the food for the party. Of course, I have my motives. I'm a good cook. Ms. Right might notice something tasty.

I had probed Mandy about her likings when we were whispering head to head at the bar talking about me helping Sherri with the party. She smiled, "Do you cook?"

"Of course, I do! What's your favorite dish?"

Macaroni and cheese.

I begin to weave my web.

Well baby, you're going to get the best macaroni and cheese that you've ever put in your mouth! I would tell you all about it if you would just call me.