Friday, September 24, 2010

A Rare Find


And I'm not one to swoon over boys. Neither of us are.

You see, we needed a little work done around here. Serious carpentry that was beyond our level of expertise. Normally, My Love can do anything. ANY. THING.

I asked repeatedly over the weekend if she wanted me to get a guy that I'd talked to on the phone to come by and work on it. No. She wanted to do it. Did I mention that we had painters coming Thursday?

By Monday afternoon, she had enough and let me call him.

I expected a handyman. Mid 60s. Pot-bellied. Rough around the edges. Balding. The kind of guy that farts and thinks it's funny.

Oh. My. God.

When he stepped out of his Jeep, I just blinked. He really DOES look like that guy up there. Except a little straighter with the bad boy edge to him.

We've had quite the show this week. Apparently, there's still a little straight part of me left. And yeah, I admit to enjoying the eye candy. Monday is his last day here. Feel free to stop by for a visit....if you like the ruggedly handsome type.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

File Allocation Table? Or Just Plain FAT File?


Another guest post by Dana


I guess they're right ...

Wearing white after Labor Day is a fashion faux pas

Confession ...

I've lost 100 pounds ... twice. Once when I was in my early 20's, and then again 20 years later. Both times I've gained every pound of it back.

Losing weight has never been difficult for me - I've always been successful - but keeping it off? That's an entirely different story.

Now in my mid 40's, the impact of carrying around 100 extra pounds is magnified by age. A knee that was injured - and operated on - 6 years ago now causes me a great deal of pain and limits my activities. My body aches, creeks and cracks every morning as I put 250+ pounds of pressure on a skeletal structure meant to carry much less.

The emotional impact of the extra 100 pounds is equally painful. I try to walk with my head held high, but avoid glancing in mirrors or at my reflection in windows at all costs.

Sure, I get cat-calls - the ones intended to humiliate, not flatter. I have to gauge my ability to get through tight spaces so that I can avoid the embarrassment of knocking things over as my too large body attempts to squeeze through a too small space.

I don't have a difficult time finding someone willing to have sex with me ... as long as I can ignore the fact that they don't usually want to be seen in public with me. Seems "curves" are attractive in the bedroom, but somehow lose their appeal once you leave the house.

Of course, I have a great personality. Like most fat people I'm funny and I can draw male (and female) attention with my brash sexual innuendos. What skinny people don't know is that both of these are defense mechanisms finely honed by fat men and women everywhere.

I've been thin. I've reaped the benefits of a society set up to punish fat people for the unforgivable crime of eating too much, and reward thin people for ... well ... not eating too much.

When I was thin, I heard the fat jokes out loud, instead of overhearing the whispering as I walked by. Men would hold doors open for me rather than just letting them swing shut in my face. I always wondered how those same people would treat me as my fat self.

As improbable as it sounds, I am far more invisible to the world when I am fat than when I'm thin.

That said, this isn't a pity post. I know there is no secret to weight loss. It's a simple formula of eating fewer calories and exercising more - consistently. I may not like myself, but I don't feel sorry for myself. I am the way that I am because of the choices I make.

This post is a reminder - a reminder that fat people are no less deserving of your respect, courtesy and adoration. Unless you are willing to make fun of Jews, blacks, amputees, balding men, people in wheel chairs and anyone from West Virginia, you shouldn't make fun of the fatties.

... or we might just sit on you ...


Thursday, September 16, 2010

My Worst Fear. Too Close.

One of my friends and I have had many conversations about "the worst." When you know how lucky you are. When you meet the love of your life. When things are going so perfectly, even thought they're just normal everyday things. When you love so many people and they love you right back. When your heart is so happy it feels like it could explode.

The worst can happen. It can stop.

My cousin lost the love of her life to cancer. Four weeks ago they told her that he had a couple of months to live. He didn't. Monday night he asked if he could lay his head on her lap and sleep. When she woke up the next morning, he was gone.

I've just returned from the funeral home, where she took me by my arm to see Michael in a suit, lying in his casket. My heart broke right in half as she tucked his hair behind his ears and smoothed his tie as if he was only sleeping.

She wasn't weeping. She didn't fall apart. I am amazed by her composure and how she always spoke of him with love in her voice.

The love that was still there chokes me. And her love was the only love left. Not that she doesn't have memories, but once you've had *it*....will memories be enough?

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Only For Shock Value

Am I posting two days in a row.

After many years of cooking, I'm just now finding out that people are either PRO-casserole or ANTI-casserole. I'm afraid that many of the anti-casserole folks have been presented with something akin to that photo up there. I wouldn't eat that with your mouth.

Luckily, my neighbors are all pro-casserole. Actually, they're more like pro-food. My work peeps...not so much. Honestly, people it's just stuff in one pan that you'd eat together otherwise. What's the problem?

So tell me. Are you pro or anti-casserole?

P.S. Remember, lasagna is technically a casserole and I have one of the best recipes on Earth. If you come visit, you might get a taste, if I know you're coming with a week's notice. Not that I'd want to sway you over to my pro side.

Monday, September 13, 2010


I know. Dana posts here more than I do. I suck.

We've gone from pool season and hanging out with "the boys" behind us with their gorgeous pool to almost "casserole season." The cool mornings make for steam rising from my coffee and this is the first year that I've really enjoyed summer. REALLY. Since I was like 11.

Like the time when we all were smashed on gin and tonics and decided that we'd try to do that commercial where the people are synchronized diving. We couldn't even get the 5,6,7,8 right and My Love was doing the counting. On the fourth try, we got it. We felt so accomplished. And then realized that new people were touring the new home next door and were watching us. Yeah, I'm sure we'll be fast friends with them.

Yes, there's a video and no you can't see it, but it looks something like this....

Friday, September 10, 2010

World Suicide Prevention Day


Another guest post by Dana

*NOTE* I felt this post was important enough that it
needed to be on both Lynn's blog and my blog.


September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day. In the United States alone, a person dies by suicide every 16 minutes.

My life has been touched by suicide far too many times. If you are not already familiar with it, you can read my personal story HERE. If you wonder how a "sane" person could ever consider suicide as an option, read Lynn's story personal story HERE.

Most of us are familiar with the immediate warning signs for suicide:
  • Someone threatening to hurt or kill him/herself, or talking of wanting to hurt or kill him/herself
  • Someone looking for ways to kill him/herself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
  • Someone talking or writing about death, dying or suicide, when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person

We need to familiarize ourselves with the more subtle warning signs for suicide.

  • Hopelessness
  • Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge
  • Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
  • Feeling trapped - like there's no way out
  • Increased alcohol or drug use
  • Withdrawing from friends, family and society
  • Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
  • Dramatic mood changes

If you, or someone you know, is in emotional distress or suicidal crisis please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8225)

What can you do today? Visit Take 5 To Save Lives and get involved and become informed. Hopefully you will never need the information you'll find there.