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Another guest post by Dana
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Another guest post by Dana
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I am many things - fashion forward is not one of them.
I own seven pairs of shoes - 2 pair of flats, same style, one pair black and one pair brown - 2 pair of dress boots, same style, one pair black and one pair brown - 2 pair of Teva sandals, same style, and yes, one pair black and one pair brown - and a single pair of sneakers.
I do not own a purse (I carry a wallet) and I wear the same earrings and bracelet every single day.
Yes ... seriously ...
So when I came across TLC's article titled 10 Trends We Wish Would Die Already, I expected to see my entire wardrobe depicted. Instead, I discovered I'm not even trendy enough to be a fashion faux pas!
I know ... I know ... y'all are curious as to which ones you are guilty of, aren't you? Well, I am here to serve your needs.
Coming in at #10 - Crocs
Ha! I am proud to say that I have NEVER worn a glob of molded plastic on these size 11's. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the only time it is acceptable to wear Crocs is if,
(1) You are under the age of 4 and cannot yet tie shoes. Once you've mastered that skill, Crocs should be off limits.
(2) You are a gardener who uses them for their original purpose.
(3) You live in a dorm with community showers and can't stomach the idea of putting your feet on the same tile where the bacteria live.
#9 - Cutout Dresses
I'm sorry, but this looks like a circus costume, even on Fergie!
#8 - Leggings as Pants
They are leggings people! Unless you are headed to the gym or dance class - or finished off a fifth of tequila and cannot find your pants - they need to stay in that bottom drawer with your jammies!
#7 - Rompers
Or as I like to call them, onesies for grown ups. Fortunately, I am 6' tall and unless I want a perma-camel-toe, I'll never find a romper I can wear. In fact, even back in the 70's when I was 10 and they were actually in fashion, I could never find one that fit. Who knew that was actually a good thing?
#6 - Layered Statement Jewelry
*Fashion Tip* Just because one or two are pretty together doesn't mean seventeen of them are drop-dead gorgeous! I'm thinking that much bling makes a woman walk like she has advanced osteoporosis.
#5 - Distressed Designer Denim
Really? People are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a pair of jeans that look like Goodwill rejects? I'd be afraid that if I washed these I'd end up with designer dust rags!
#4 - High Heels and Socks
OK people, unless your significant other has a sexual fantasy surrounding Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and you've decided to give in JUST.THIS.ONCE, socks have absolutely no business paired with heels. NONE!
#3 - Dressed-up Sweatpants
No, carrying a black purse and wearing heels does not magically make this a fashionable look. Any item of clothing that has the word "sweat" in it's description is not made for a night out on the town.
#2 - Super High Heels
These shoes should only be worn by someone who has a pole near by to help them with the precarious balancing act required to stand in these, let alone actually walk. Fortunately strippers don't spend much time on their feet.
Finishing up the list at #1 - High-waist Pants and Shorts
Damn! I knew there was a reason I should have kept my marching band uniform from high school. I could have been trendy if I wore it today!
So, which of you have committed at least one of these fashion crimes?? Come on, I know at least one of you readers is going to be a Croc defender ...
I own seven pairs of shoes - 2 pair of flats, same style, one pair black and one pair brown - 2 pair of dress boots, same style, one pair black and one pair brown - 2 pair of Teva sandals, same style, and yes, one pair black and one pair brown - and a single pair of sneakers.
I do not own a purse (I carry a wallet) and I wear the same earrings and bracelet every single day.
Yes ... seriously ...
So when I came across TLC's article titled 10 Trends We Wish Would Die Already, I expected to see my entire wardrobe depicted. Instead, I discovered I'm not even trendy enough to be a fashion faux pas!
I know ... I know ... y'all are curious as to which ones you are guilty of, aren't you? Well, I am here to serve your needs.
Coming in at #10 - Crocs
Ha! I am proud to say that I have NEVER worn a glob of molded plastic on these size 11's. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the only time it is acceptable to wear Crocs is if,
(1) You are under the age of 4 and cannot yet tie shoes. Once you've mastered that skill, Crocs should be off limits.
(2) You are a gardener who uses them for their original purpose.
(3) You live in a dorm with community showers and can't stomach the idea of putting your feet on the same tile where the bacteria live.
#9 - Cutout Dresses
I'm sorry, but this looks like a circus costume, even on Fergie!
#8 - Leggings as Pants
They are leggings people! Unless you are headed to the gym or dance class - or finished off a fifth of tequila and cannot find your pants - they need to stay in that bottom drawer with your jammies!
#7 - Rompers
Or as I like to call them, onesies for grown ups. Fortunately, I am 6' tall and unless I want a perma-camel-toe, I'll never find a romper I can wear. In fact, even back in the 70's when I was 10 and they were actually in fashion, I could never find one that fit. Who knew that was actually a good thing?
#6 - Layered Statement Jewelry
*Fashion Tip* Just because one or two are pretty together doesn't mean seventeen of them are drop-dead gorgeous! I'm thinking that much bling makes a woman walk like she has advanced osteoporosis.
#5 - Distressed Designer Denim
Really? People are willing to pay hundreds of dollars for a pair of jeans that look like Goodwill rejects? I'd be afraid that if I washed these I'd end up with designer dust rags!
#4 - High Heels and Socks
OK people, unless your significant other has a sexual fantasy surrounding Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and you've decided to give in JUST.THIS.ONCE, socks have absolutely no business paired with heels. NONE!
#3 - Dressed-up Sweatpants
No, carrying a black purse and wearing heels does not magically make this a fashionable look. Any item of clothing that has the word "sweat" in it's description is not made for a night out on the town.
#2 - Super High Heels
These shoes should only be worn by someone who has a pole near by to help them with the precarious balancing act required to stand in these, let alone actually walk. Fortunately strippers don't spend much time on their feet.
Finishing up the list at #1 - High-waist Pants and Shorts
Damn! I knew there was a reason I should have kept my marching band uniform from high school. I could have been trendy if I wore it today!
So, which of you have committed at least one of these fashion crimes?? Come on, I know at least one of you readers is going to be a Croc defender ...
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